


Behind The Mask

by Zombielabs



Series: Happy Thoughts [2]
Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Borderline Personality Disorder, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Depression, Dissociative Identity Disorder, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Insanity, Multiple Personalities, Personality Swap, Self-Discovery, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-05-24 08:52:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 42,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14951510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zombielabs/pseuds/Zombielabs
Summary: Sebastian is seen as evil in "Happy Thoughts", which he was for many years. When he finally broke free to become a person, he was shown that the world was not how it was ment to be. After this, he questioned his whole life and his own reality. He is also now victim of the horrible experiment of Project Libitina in his dreams.Behind every person is a story. All you have to do is see behind the mask that they show you. Beware for what you see, it may not be what you expect.Note: this story, to some extent, can be read without reading "Happy Thoughts", but some of the purpose will be lost without looking at the 1st.





	1. Creation Of Me

Before you continue, I must say, what you see of me is never what I wanted to be. The human mind has a way of making someone turn into something that they are not. But now I'm free...at least that is what I thought before. Well, can't leave you hanging in for too long. So let's start with the story of me: Sebastian.

I was never really born. I was thought up by a young kid name Kyle. At the time, I was one of his best friends. I wanted that for him since his drug addict parents never cared enough for him. I comforted him through his tough times and things were fine, until his parents abandoned him at the age of 8.

This is were I actually started to change. Because of Kyle's parents leaving him to fend for himself, he started to have depression. I wanted to help him more than anything, but his depression started to taint me. Before I knew it, I was no longer friendly, but now I could feel a sense of evil and hatred towards him.

Not only was I changing from my original personality, I was also changing in physical form. My eyes were no longer yellow and I was no longer slender. My form was now more muscular, my eyes were now crimson red, and my hair got longer and darker. I was a whole new Sebastian that he never seen.

To be honest, I hated myself for being the way I was for a few months, being forced to torture him because of his depression. Over time, my mindset that was kind started to morph into the person that I am now: hating the person that was once my friend and now I want to claw myself out of him, to be free.

Oddly, I did admire how he always faked a smile so no one ever expected a thing. But we both knew that he was crumbling on the inside. Sometimes, it was enough for me to become  _me_ through him _._ What does that mean? Well, me and him would switch so I would become myself through him and no one would ever know the difference, at least in face value. The difference would be that my personality is more toxic than his, which can be spotted out easily by people that know him.

Nowadays, it is harder to break free and go do things my way through him. He has gotten tougher, but we both know that he will break soon. Maybe sooner since he basically volunteered to join a club that his childhood friend, Sayori, was in. Well....not exactly volunteered, but said that he would check up on it.

He did join, but he is going to regret it. You see, his crush, Monika, is the club president. Such a fine, smooth woman. If only I could feel had for myself. I will break free from him and I will have her for myself, even if Kyle doesn't like it.

To summarize what the week was like till Thursady night, Monika was clearly crushing on him. It honestly took me by suprise how much she was pushing into him that he never noticed. Well, to be fair, he would have noticed if it wasn't for me pushing him over his edge. It got to the point that he cut himself to relieve the pressures build up by me.

He tried so hard to block out how much pain he felt that he ended up breaking finally. He told her mother, Samantha, that he was.losing his mind from his depression and as soon as he realized what he had done, he ran out the door and after running far away, he finally let me out.

This is were we start now: me letting out all my evilness in the public.


	2. Lost Emotions

_Looks like I gained control of Kyle's body again. He won't be coming out till tomorrow morning. Man, it has been a long time since I been out. It feels like I am alive right now. Ahaha...the irony of that is funny. Well, time to raise some hell now._

I go down the street, finding a bar. Before I go in, I look and at my reflection. "I look truly evil with these crimson red eyes." I wish there was more to me, but these will do.

I open up the door and everyone stares at me. I hope they get a good look at me. I sit down and look at the bartender. "Hey sir, give me a drink."

The bartender looks at me. "Son, you look too young to be drinking. I'm going to have to ask you to leave." I gash him a crooked smile and pull him close by his shirt.

"Listen here bud. Either your giving me a drink, or I will break every bone in your body. Deal?" I can feel him shake as he nods. Some people start to scoot away from me. He hands me a a litter bottle of Jack Daniel's and I chug down some of it.

"Son, what are you doing?" I turn and see two punt police officers. I flip them the bird.

"What does it look like asshole?" I drink some more in front of them. Everyone is looking at us.

"Your going to have to come with us." He tries to grab me, but I pull away. This little fuck tried to touch ME!? "If you don't come with us, it will be worse for you." He tries to grab me again.

I snatch his wrist. "No one touches SEBASTIAN!!" I say with a deep, dark tone. I throw the officer over the bar, making him slam into the shelf behind it. The other officer tries to pull his gun, but I grab him and pull him close. "FEAR ME!" I punch him as hard as I can in his face. I can hear his skull fracture.

This commotion causes a bar fight. I take the rest of my Jack Daniel's and walk out the bar. I see something as soon as I walk out. I see a trench coat with a top hat and cane with a skull as a handle.

"This will match me well." I punch the glass and take the outfit. I run away as the alarm blares.I put it on and observe myself. "What a evil little devil I am." I look like the young version of Edward Hyde. The perfect hellraiser with the perfect cover.

I walk down the street and look around this city. I can take everything they have, destory everything they have. I can do whatever they want and do it with pleasure. While I think about this, I hear a scream from around the corner.

"Don't touch me." A familiar female voice saids.

"Oh don't worry. Just come with us Monika. Don't worry about Kyle." I hear some asshole say. I turn the corner and see a few jocks trying to take Monika into their car.

_Those assholes are hurting her. I can destory them so easily and I will. I won't let them hurt her. I don't know why I want to protect her, but I feel like I want to._

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." I start walking towards them. "After all, it may cost you." They pay their attention towards me.

"Fuck off bud. I wouldn't want to have to kill you." I laugh sinisterly.

"Kill me? You can't kill ME!" I say. One by one, they try to attack me, but I put them down one by one. The last one to attack me was the one that had a hold on Monika. "You should have listened to me." I headbutt him, fracturing his skull badly. I grin

I look around at the carnage that I just committed. I feel a rush of power going through me. There is another a feeling that I feel. One that I haven't felt in a long time: kindness.

_Why do I feel this? What I did was just something someone would do if their intentions were to hurt people. I only helped out Monika..._

I helped out Monika. They were going to do something terrible and I helped her. No, that's not the only reason. I  _wanted_ to help her. What is going on with me?

I see Monika starting to get up, looking at me. I run off so she can't get a glance at who it was that just saved her. I can't stop thinking about what had transpired tonight. This wasn't suppose to happen, but it did and it was something that I wanted.

I make it back to Kyle's house in no time. That feeling of kindness that I had earlier had faded away. "Haha! Must have been a phase since I haven't been out in a long time." I start to feel tired and I feel line I'm about to fall asleep. Before I do, I decide to write my own poem for the Literature Club.

I finish writing and look at what I had produced. "It is a little piece of me in everything." I am proud of what I wrote and fall asleep. They are going to love this piece, which is called:

_I Am Free!_

_I have never been so free_  
_Been stuck in a prison of his mind._  
_I see a world of greed_  
_So much mysteries in me to find._

 _I am free from his reflection_  
_I will forge my own destiny._  
_Let's build up some traction_  
_So he will finally agree._

 _Know me by my name_  
_Sebastian is what I am called._  
_I don't need money or fame_  
_I just need to be know by all._

 _He can't stop what he is_  
_I am evil because he is as well._  
_Kyle won't ever be loved by anyone_  
_No one can save him from his downfall._

* * *

  ** _Shhh. It's okay. We are not going to hurt you, at least that is not how we are going to start. I know you must be wondering what you are doing here in this room with bare white walls. I am here to let you know that you won't get out of here without giving us what we want._**

**_It is quite simple. Respond positively to our tests and we will let you go. What are we testing you for you ask? Well, we need you open your Third Eye and everything will be fine._**

**_O̷͓̪͇͑̈́͊͗p̸̳̹̯͍̰͆̍̆̅͊͘͠e̴̳̎̇ņ̵̡̗̭̜̖̳͇̖͂̈́͒̿̃̌̎̏͑̊ͅ ̷͕̮̼̯̅̀̕͝͝ī̶̧͍̭͎͇͑̾ț̸̢̨̫͍͙͕̙̖̗̮̯̽̽͝.̵̬͎̺̝̜̭͖̠̪̩̙̏̈̌͋͗̎͋̀̍͊̀͜͜͝ ̵̥̱̀̉̊̾Ò̷͓̖͖͕̋͊͊͋̍̏̇̄̉͂͝p̵̢̹̫̯̫̩̬͎̘̙͈̅́̃̋͘ę̶̰͕̫̂̅͜n̸̨̢̡͎̥̖̩̣̐̑̓͒̽̂̃͘͝ ̶̡̛̯̜͈̫̱̤͕̽͛͌͆̍i̶̧͎̘̮͖̱̣̅̈́̿̂̓̋̐̃̑͜͠͝͝t̸̢̟͇̠̮̳͔͈̽̊͒͛̉̇̕̕.̷̟̹͖̲̬͕͕̣̰̇̇̍̏̌̀̅ ̸̺̱͉̝̝̆̀͋͌̅̔͒͒̂Ọ̵̟̘͍̮̪̰̥̊͑ͅP̶̺̰̅̈́̏͘E̸͙̱͈͇̘̰̖͎̲͋͗͆̾̓͊͆̊̚͠Ṋ̵̡̆̇͗̅̂̿̀͒̅͝ ̷͓̙̲̠̾͐͌̒̈́̓͠͠I̸̛̼͓̥͚̜͈͔̗̞̊̓͆̌͌̏T̶̞̲͊̅̇̉͛̅̊̏̓̚!̸̛̻̫̦̰̍̄̎͑͋̋̈́͛̚͠!̵͓͒͗̃̇̑͋̏̂̈́͘͘!̶̺̝̳͔̥̙͙͈̔̈́͆̎̓̈͐̅̇͒!̸̡̙̞̹͇̮̠̗̜̩̍̀̍͗̓͐͒͠ͅ!_ **

* * *

I snap out of my dream, only it wasn't a dream. I have these rarely where I have a vision of something destined to happen, but this one has been going on for a few months. It is always the same feeling, same voice, same place, and the the same subject.

What the hell is a Third Eye? Why is there a psychologist telling me that I can't leave? Why do I need to give them this Third Eye? And why did it shake me up more than it has ever before?

I have so many questions unanswered and I would continue to ponder about it, but I hear Kyle calling out to me. I appear as his reflection in the bathroom mirror.

"What the hell happened last night Sebastian!?" He asks. As usual, I have on my evil persona to make him feel miserable.

"Well Kyle, last night was fun to say the least. I caused a bar fight, stole this outfit. I even saw Monika last night." I can see Kyle get visibly angry with that last sentence.

"If you did something to her, I'll make sure we never see the light of day again!" He tells me. To see him get upset without knowing all the details makes me laugh.

"Chill Kyle. I actually ended up helping her without her knowing it was...well, us. Some jock assholes were trying to put her in some car when she was looking for you. I hospitalized them pretty badly to say the least."

He has a suprised look on his face. "You helped her? I thought you were evil, suppose to care less of people's problems."

"I would have not, but I had a strong urge to. I just couldn't resist it." I didn't want to tell him that I wanted to help her.

"Why did I do that? She knows there is something wrong with me." He sits down on the toilet. "What am I going to do now?"

I can't really provide the best advice, but this is the best advice I can give him that will work for now. "Push through. Don't fuck up again. Don't do anything irrational. Then everything should be fine."

He looks at me with a confused, yet angry face. "Why should I take your advice?"

_I saved that girl that you love and you are going to retaliate with that? I could have let her get kidnapped and God knows what else._

I have a angered expression on my face. "I followed your end of our deal. Now you are defying ME!?" My voice breaks his mirror, which I can barely see him through. "It would be best you do what I suggest."

He nods and walks out to school. Honestly, I'm nervous about what is going to happen today. If Monika affected me that much to make me want to help, then what else is going to happen when I'm around longer now? Hopefully not much will happen.


	3. Grief Is Powerful

I see that that Kyle met up with the other girl's in the Literature Club. Well, not really see, but I can hear them talking. They're talking about last night with Monika. He's...he's telling them that it didn't go well and that it's difficult to explain. At least he is not telling the truth.

I can also hear them spilt their own ways, except for Sayori. They're having a conversation. "Kyle, what is going on? Your not usually like this.  Did something happen with you?" She asks.

"Sayori, I'll be fine. I just need to make sure you guy's will stay that way." He replies. I can hear in the tone in her voice that she is not having it.

"Kyle, something happened and I know it. Please, let me know if there is something I can do. It's the only thing I can do for you since you did the same for me." She saids.

That's right, I completely forgot that Sayori had depression. I remember hearing over their conversation they had in the park. Kyle wanted to help her so much and he did. I think in that time, he was finally able to overcome me for a short period of time. Is that because of his will to help a friend, or was that because of me backing off because of the way he described her?

 "I'll tell you when we get home, ok?" He saids. I can feel them hug each other and then split their own ways.

I can't believe it. Kyle is really going to tell someone about his problems. If he does, he will be put on so many medications that it will dull his mind so that I won't be existing anymore.

I see him with a piece of paper. If I'm going to do something, now is the time. "You fucking idiot. Trying to put your problems on others that don't deserve it. They will be better off without you. Have you considered not existing? It would be a great thing to have: no more problems, struggles, anything. So die!"

_Why did all of what I said feel like a lie? I should be evil and what I said definitely was, but I don't believe myself. What is going on with me?_

"Kyle, did you hear what I said?" A teacher asks him. He zoned out again. I feel a sensation of uneasiness from the teacher. "Kyle, are you okay? Do you need to leave? If you do, that's okay."

I see Kyle flashing a fake smile at him. "Why wouldn't I be? Everything is fine." I can see through Kyle's eyes that the teacher is looking at his desk, not at Kyle. Kyle noticed and looks down. I can't believe what I see. All over the paper is the same 5 words repeated, taking up the whole sheet:  _GET OUT OF MY HEAD._

"I...I think I should leave." Kyle saids. The teacher nods and Kyle grabs the paper as he leaves the classroom. He sits on the stairwell, waiting for the bell to sound any minute. While he does that, I start to think about something.

_Why am I doing this? It's my whole reason of life to make him suffer, but I feel like I'm only killing him. That is something that I could do, but it's not what I want. Damnit, there it is again! I don't want to make him kill himself. Why is this happening?!_

The bell rings and I can feel Kyle hesitate. I can hear him thinking about his options: go to the club and get barraged with questions, or go home and make Monika worry. He goes with his gut and starts to make his way to the club.

I see him pass the music room when he stops. I hear a piano playing ever so beautifully. It is almost mesmerizing and I can see it is for Kyle too. I see Kyle go up near the door. We both hear this same beautiful voice coming from the other side.

 _Take my hand...take my whole life too...._  
_For I can't help...falling in love with you_

It's Monika. That song...I heard it before somewhere. Either way, I know more than enough to know that I was right. She loves Kyle. So, so much. I suddenly feel a huge amount of guilt fall over me.

I have been holding him back from something so beautiful that I have never seen before. Maybe that is why I helped her last night. I...I think I may start turning kind. No, I feel surge to  _want_ to be nice. This woman is affecting me so much that I can't make up my damn mind of what I want.

I don't get much time to ponder about that as I see Kyle rush to the bathroom. I see him looking in the mirror, expecting me. I don't want to come out and have to face the fact that I feel guilty for being what I am.

"What are you planning?" He ask. I don't respond or come out. "Answer me." Nothing. "ANSWER ME!" I have to come out now, or else someone is going to see him like this.

I come out, with a saddened expression on my face. "What have I done? Why?" I can't hide this feeling anymore.

"Your faking this. You have something planned to ruin this for me." He saids. If only he knew.

I try to deflect how I feel by using Monika. "Not this time. There is something about her. I...I can't hurt her anymore." 

"I don't know what you are doing, but you won't fool me." He saids. I am getting angry by the fact that Kyle keeps thinking I'm going to ruin something like this for him. With all my anger, I'm able to manifest myself in his mind and pull him up close to me.

"I'm not faking anything! Not anymore! I think I love her and the only way I'll be able to have that is by not being me." I say. The truth is, I'm not falling for her,  but I need Kyle to get off my back before I slip up how I actually feel. It seems like it works and I disappear.

He leave and walks to the club. Somehow, I still am able to see through his eyes for a little bit before he tries to hide himself away from them. The first person he sees is Monika talking to the club about something. For the first time, I am able to see everyone.

They all look so happy. This is what I have been keeping him from being with? More and more guilt starts to pile up on me. "No, I forgot to write a poem." Kyle saids. I see him get a piece of paper and think about what he is writing.

_This may be the only way I can express myself and him about we both feel._

I take control of his hand and start writing. Kyle is confused, but I don't care. I'm doing this for the both of us. It is the only way I can do what I want.

After a few minutes, I stop and let Kyle read what I wrote. 

_How I Feel_

_I can watch you every day_  
_Hear you sing till the end of time._  
_Your smile is all that I can pay_  
_All I want is for you to be mine._

 _I have my issues left at bay_  
_Which I hide so you can be safe._  
_But I know you love me every day_  
_So I'm left with feeling great._

 _If I told you my secrets_  
_Would you still feel the same?_  
_If I show you how I want to be_  
_Would you risk all your fame?_

 _I never felt this way before_  
_Until I came across you._  
_When I can't feel ever more_  
_I know that I will always love you._

Even I am suprised by how well I did. I am glad I left that poem back at the house about me. All he has to do is confront Monika.

"Kyle, can I talk to you?" Kyle looks up to see her standing right in front of him. Looks like she did it herself.

"Y-yeah sure." He stands up and sees that everyone is gone. "Where did everyone go?"

_Looks like she made everyone leave for today to go do something else. Clever._

_"_ I sent them out on what they were suppose to do this weekend." She replied. I'm nervous on how this will end up. What is going to come out of this?

"Kyle, you have been such a great person to me. You just know how to make me smile no matter what. It hurts me to know you are in pain." She interlocks one of her hands into his. "I want to help you in any way I can. I want to be there for you no matter what."

"Why? You deserve to live a happy life with your family, worry about normal teenage things. You don't need to worry about some trashy person like me. You deserve better than me." Kyle saids.

_Stop degrading yourself. I'm not even doing anything now. In any case, I'm pushing you so you can get with her. Its something that I want now._

"Deserve better than someone who helps others? Kyle, there is no one here like you." She says.

"Your right. Everyone else is normal and happy." He replies.

"Not that. There is no one like you that can make others feel great about themselves. You care so much for people that you forget about you. You always make sure that everyone gets what they want, but you don't want anything at all."

_I have done this to him. I'm making his life a living hell and he doesn't deserve it. She is right but I have desensitized his mind so he doesn't believe it. What can I do now?_

"I want everyone to be happy. I don't want them to waste their time on me. It's never worth it and you can't benefit from me." He saids.

She immediately hugs him without warning. She buries her head in his shoulder. Even though I can't see it, I hear sobbing.

_Is she...crying? I made her cry. I hate myself so much. It would be so much more easier if I was to die._

"Kyle, your wrong. Your wrong about that all. You deserve to be happy. I deserve to be happy with someone like you. I want that with you Kyle. I...I love you Kyle."

She confessed her love? She really just did. That is something I wasn't prepared for. I'm guessing Kyle wasn't either because now he is crying as well. I keep feeling all of this guilt and it is piling up more as today goes on. Being stuck in a void of someone's mind that has depression makes you feel so...alone.

"I'm... I'm so sorry to hurt you. I never wanted you to feel what I feel, or deal with my problems. I did that because I love you too. Please, let me talk to you about this Saturday. I'll explain it all." He saids.

She looks at him and nods. As she looks down on the desk, she notices the poem that Kyle had wrote. I see her pick it up and read it. Her expression brightens up as she reads through it. She sets down the paper and starts to walk towards Kyle.

_Wait, is she...she is going to do it._

"I love you so much Kyle." Before he can even respond, she kisses him. His head just goes blank and I no longer see. All I can feel is the unforgettable void that I have been stuck in for many years. It hurts so much here. I want to die.

After what feels like an eternity, they finally split apart. I can see her blushing really hard. "Kyle, that was...I can't even describe it." They hug and finally split to go home.

I can only imagine what is going to happen when I'm not around her. Will I revert back to the way I was. Will I actually stay the way I am? Better else, what is Kyle going to say to Sayori? I'll have to figure out later.


	4. The Void Has No Mercy

As I figured, I start to feel my evilness come back after Kyle goes home. I hate this. Not only the abrupt changes, but the fact that I can't escape this at all. It seems like something is making me suffer as well.

Kyle heard a knock on the door. He gets up and opens it to reveal Sayori. At the clubroom, I was only able to see what she looked like behind, but now seeing what she looks like...it's something that makes my heart warm up. They go and sit on the couch.

"You haven't been here in a long time." Kyle says. "So what are you doing for the festival?"

"I'm printing out pamphlets of our poems we are performing. Monika said she was planning something and that you were going to help her." They sit in silence for a while. "What is going on Kyle?"

"I never told anyone this. I referenced it to Monika and her parents, but I didn't go into detail. It has caused me to change because I wanted to protect people from me." Kyle saids.

Sayori scoots closer to him. "Kyle, what is happening to you? Please tell me." He take a deep breath.

_Fuck, he is going to do it. He's going to tell her about me._

"I have so many problems. One being my depression that caused me to come up with a other personality I call Sebastian. Second is him, tearing my mind down more and more. Last is this. Please don't judge me."

She looks so sad, but nods. He roll up his sleeves to reveal the wounds on his arms. "The pain was too much for me to bear, so I tried to get rid of it by this. I hate myself for doing it, but it helped and I only did it once."

She has tears down her face. "Why haven't you tried to reach out to us? You know we all care for you."

_I want this to stop. This is making me pissed off about myself. Can this ever stop!?_

He shakes his head. "That's why I did what I did. Putting you guys through my hell is something I couldn't bear stand. I care so much for you guys. But today, something changed in me. I just...couldn't lie anymore."

He start to cry. Sayori walks to him and hugs him. "Shh... It's alright Kyle. I'm here for you." She saids to him softly.

_I wish I could have something like that. It is kind of making me hate him even more. Why is everything so confusing me right now?_

Kyle breaks from her after a few minutes _._ "I feel a little bit better now. But I don't know how long that'll last. I just need to find a way to get rid of him."

_**Get rid of me? Now you want to try to get rid of me?! You can't stop ME!!** _

_Your not real. You're just made up. Eventually you'll die off._

_**Want to get rid of me. It's easy. KILL YOURSELF!!** _

_NEVER! I'm better than that!_

**_Your weak and stubborn. I will make sure till the day you die, you will suffer._ **

_You will fail!_

"Kyle, your spacing out again." Sayori saids, waving her hand in front of his face.

"Oh. Sorry about that." He saids. This is making me feel more worse the more time goes on. "I still feel bad right now. Can you...stay for a little bit longer?"

"Sure Kyle. I don't mind." She pats him on the shoulder and turns on the TV. She puts it on one of their favorite anime shows. They watch for a while. Somehow, Kyle ends up laying g his head in Sayori's lap, nearly asleep. She giggles. "You must have a lot on your mind. Don't worry. Everything will be better soon." She stroked hid hair softly and he end up falling asleep. 

I get stuck in the same vision as many times before. This happens everytime he goes asleep. This time, it is different. I'm able to respond now.

  ** _Shhh. It's okay. We are not going to hurt you, at least that is not how we are going to start. I know you must be wondering what you are doing here in this room with bare white walls. I am here to let you know that you won't get out of here without giving us what we want._**

**_It is quite simple. Respond positively to our tests and we will let you go. What are we testing you for you ask? Well, we need you open your Third Eye and everything will be fine._ **

_What the fuck is this Third Eye you are so obsessed with? How the hell did I even get here if I don't even exist? I'm always stuck in a fucking void of nonexistence._

His expression changes to complete shock. 

**_Wait, what? Your stuck in a void? Your not even real?_ **

He has a huge smile on his face, as if he has accomplished something great.

_**We've been looking for you for several years. This whole project has been about finding a candidate for the Third Eye, but it looks like we have found it. Y̷͍̗͍͕̼͓͎̞̊͝ͅo̷̢͓̰̓̿̈́̈́u̷̢̐r̴̙͉̂͊̾̓̑͝ ̴̜͙̰̱̊͒̇͘ṋ̶͕̱̣̠̪̓͌̈́̇̋̒̈́̕͘ͅę̶̗̪̖͕̹̥̅̿̍v̴͓̖̫̽͂̑͌̓͝͝ḙ̷͚͛̃r̴͓͕͇̫͙͈̯̯̽̑̆͆̆͗̿̉ ̵̫̖̋͆̍̎ẹ̶̮̃̓͗͆s̸̰̝̊̅͌̃͘͘͝͝c̸̢̛̰̝̀̏̈́̈́̏̔a̴̢̨̫͓̲͇͎̭̽̀̓̎p̷̢̝̪̰͈͕̲̝̾͆̉̉͝i̸͉͙̭̞̗̱͐͑͜ͅn̴̝̮͉͉̼̙̠̿̄͜ͅg̵̡̠̥͈̥̦̗͓̲̓̓̍͒̽̚ ̷̛̜̠̍̈́́̑̚ṵ̶̰͓̗̹̓͛̂̔̔̋̀̾̿s̶̳̓͗̏̄̎̚ ̶͓̬̱̽͝n̷̨̧͕͖̼̠̫͎͌͌͗̆̽̑̈́̿ͅô̴͇̹͓̜̮̯͕͂w̶͕͎͙̦͕̟̔̐́̄͜!̴̧̙̩̯̹̣͋̓ͅ**_

"Kyle, wake up." Sayori shakes him and wakes him up. I break out of the vision, relieved. I'm in a constant hell in this void. I want to be free. 

"Sorry. Thank you for doing this for me." He says. She smiles at him.

"Oh, don't worry about it. It's the most I can do since you done so much for me." She replies.

"Hey Sayori, let me ask you something." She nods. "What did you do when it got this bad? How did you fight it?" She takes a few moments to gather her thoughts and starts to speak.

"I just look at who I cherished and envied the most. If not that, I try to find comfort in things that I liked to do before. But the main thing that helped me was confessing it to those that I love. Since I really didn't have anyone else but you, it helped me so much." She takes a minute and thinks back to something. "You know something? When I told my parents over phone, they never came to help me."

"Just like my parents. I never told them, but then again, they ran off on me too." He replies.

_Sayori's parents didn't even come to help her? How much of a lowlife are they? I would kill them if I was to get the chance._

"Well, have a good day Sayori." Kyle saids as he waves at her. She waves back and walks out the door. Such a beautiful, caring girl. I wonder if she has a boyfriend. If she doesn't, I would want to be with her. I just need a way out of here. Maybe my only fate is death. Then I will be free at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It gets worse from here. In this story, there is not much happiness to be found for Sebastian.


	5. Learning The Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forewarning: this chapter is the hardest one I have ever tried to write. I tried to make this one about me breaking the 4th wall to Sebastian, as well as try to make it seem like I writing things into the void in code.
> 
> Because this is a story, I obviously can't write in code for it, so I tried my best to mimic that with this symbol: *.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts about this one in all seriousness. I need the feedback for this chapter more than ever.

I guess Kyle is trying to take Sayori's advice. I see him look around his room, trying to find a way to occupy himself. He stops and looks at his old guitar. I remember that he used to be big into rock music, so he would play over the part that the guitar would play.

He starts to play the song that he would used to describe life for him.  _Save Yourself_ by  _My Darkest Days._ Before, I wouldn't let this song bother me, but now it really gets under my skin. How can someone describe me as the devi when I'm conceived in the void of depression? I don't want to hear any of this, but all I can do is listen to the lyrics.

* * *

 

 

_I’m the devil’s son straight out of hell_  
_And you’re a angel with a haunted heart_  
_If you’re smart you’d run and protect yourself_  
_From the demon living in the dark_  
_It’s nothing to be gained cause I can never change_  
_You can never understand my sickness_  
_(I’ll never understand my sickness)_

_Save yourself_  
_From a life full of lies and a heart full of pain and sorrow_  
_Save yourself_  
_From the choices I make because nothing but failure follows me_  
_Save yourself_

_You’re the perfect drug when it hurts like hell_  
_I never needed anyone so much_  
_There’s no-one else I love and I curse myself_  
_Cause the right thing is to give you up_

_I’m overcome by shame cause I can never change_  
_You can never understand my sickness_  
_(I’ll never understand my sickness)_

_Save yourself_  
_From a life full of lies and a heart full of pain and sorrow_  
_Save yourself_  
_From the choices I make because nothing but failure follows me_  
_Save yourself_  
_From a life full of lies and a heart full of pain and sorrow_  
_Save yourself_  
_From the choices I make because nothing but failure follows me_  
_Save yourself_

_You can never understand my sickness_  
_(I’ll never understand my sickness)_  
_Cause I don’t understand my sickness_  
_(I’ll never understand my sickness)_

_Save yourself_  
_From a life full of lies and a heart full of pain and sorrow_  
_Save yourself_  
_From the choices I make because nothing but failure follows me_  
_Save yourself_  
_From a life full of lies and a heart full of pain and sorrow_  
_Save yourself_  
_From the choices I make because nothing but failure follows me_

_Save yourself_

* * *

 I'm done with this! I can't keep feeling this. The more of it goes on, the more I am going to lose it. I think I may end up exploding with all my guilt and anger. The void of his mind is killing me slowly!

He finished and he sits the guitar down. "What should I do? There is only so much I can do before I give up."

_The gun. Under the bed. My way out for once!_

"What about that gun you have there? Hidden away from yourself? You know that is the only way you will win. So man up and do it." I tell him.

I stop hearing what Kyle thinks as he grabs the gun underneath his bed. I see him examine the gun closely. "Guess I will see you one last time."

_Please do it. Free me from this hell. End it all for once! DO IT!!_

He looks at the clip. "Full, even though I only need one." He loads it and cocks it back. He puts it up to his head. Safety off. "Goodbye Monika. Goodbye Sayori. Goodbye Literature Club. I love you." He closes his eyes and pulls the trigger.

* * *

 Everything becomes extremely dark. Not the type of dark I'm used to in the void, but pure darkness. He did it. He pulled the trigger. Am I...free?

_Sadly, no your not. Do you think that I would make it that easy to let you free?_

"Who is that? Where are you?"

_Sorry for not introducing myself. After all, this is my first time ever doing this. I have to remember that I'm not like her. Anyways, I'm Kyle._

"Your not Kyle. And who are you talking about not being like "her"?"

_Not the Kyle you see, but the creator of everything you have ever known or seen. And like 'her'? Well, you already know Monika._

"What the fuck are you talking about? Am I dreaming!?"

_Ahh Jesus Christ. Monika made it so much easier to make her point in the game, yet I can't even do it in my own story._

Game? Story? What the fuck is this?!

_Okay, sit down. *chair spawned* This is going to be quite difficult for you to understand._

Somehow in the pitch darkness, I see a chair behind me. This must be a dream, but I still sit down.

_Good, now pay close attention. This world you know and see through me in this story, it is all part of a story inspired by Doki-Doki Literature Club, an anime visual novel. That game is...quite the package of unexpected._

"This is a story? What is Doki-Doki Literature Club?"

_*spawned picture of title screen of Doki-Doki Literature Club*_

"That is everyone in the Literature Club! But...why is it like this?"

_They are a game in my reality. You think you are the only one to have problems. Look at what they have to deal with. *show hidden secrets* I know you know that Sayori was depressed, but you don't know about the rest._

"Yuri cuts herself? Natsuki gets beaten and never gets fed? And Monika...is stuck in a void?"

_Yep. And in the game, she is sentient. Because she never gets her own route, she did this. *show character deaths._

"What the fuck!? I wasn't expecting this! Why?!"

_What would you do to be with someone you truly love and they didn't have a chance to talk to you. After all, your lucky the gun misfired on Kyle._

"Wait...it misfired? He's not dead? Did you do that!?"

 _I only write the story. I don't have any effect on what the characters do or how things go. What do you feel?_ _Regret? Anger? Depression maybe?_

"You know I do. You know how much I hate myself, but I'm tired of being stuck in this void and seeing these visions about the Third Eye."

_All of that is your destiny unless you chance. You know you can escape if you weren't influencing Kyle's depression._

"Really? How?"

_Its simple. If you really want to get out, you had to convince him that you have changed. Tell him how you really feel._

"...And I'll have the chance to be free?"

_Yes, but I will warn you, it hurts like a bitch. Trying to escape something that is ment to keep you in always does. Kyle is coming back from dinner with Monika and her parents. Just to let you know, Kyle did tell her about everything and she still loves him. Do what you have to do. I'll keep in contact. After all, I'm the writer for everything._

I see a bit more now after he is done talking. When he left, all the pictures and chair disappeared. I will need to think about this later. I have a chance to be free and I will take it.


	6. Free At Last!

Kyle walks in, looking like he is the happiest man alive. I can feel the pure joy he has, which makes me pissed off. Even though this wasn't part of my plan, my mindset still fights with me, making me lash out.

 "So, you seem happy." I say. "Why? What did you do? Put your problems on others, making them worry more about you, you selfish prick?"

"They actually care. I'm not going to listen to your lies anymore. I'm with Monika, the most beautiful girl I had ever seen." He saids.

I know their lies, but I still feel the urge to be evil. "She is only with you because she feels sorry for you. You took advantage of her vulnerability." I respond. I start to develop anger, as well as Kyle.

"I took advantage of her? Funny coming from you who nearly killed a group of kids in front of her. By the way, what the fuck was wrong with you? You had a fucking bullet hole through both sides of your head."

_What the fuck is he talking about? Did I somehow appear before I saw nothing but darkness?_

I feel the sides of my head and grin for no reason. "That was you almost succeeding getting rid of me. Your lucky that bullet was a misfire. I just want to see you suffer."

_No I don't. Can I just take control over my destiny for once!?_

"Making me suffer will only cause Monika to suffer. Is that what you want?" He walk in front of a mirror. I know he is right, but my mind is making me reject the fact.

"She doesn't really love you. She can't!" I can hear the desperation in my voice. I know she loves him more than anything. I think I can gain control over myself to execute my plan. I just hope he agrees with me.

"She does. Her family forgives me and wants me to be happy with her. If you try to make me suffer, you'll only hurt Monika. And considering you put my thoughts on the poem she read, you like her too."

This is the one time he is wrong. I don't like her enough to want to be with her, but I care enough to stop this. If him being happy means I have to tear myself out of his mind, then I will.

"Your right. I do care about her. But this can't be the end of me. You created me in your mind through your depression. Causing pain is the only thing I know what to do, but Monika makes me want to become good. That's why I'm like this every time I'm not around her." I tell him.

"I...I don't know what to do. If anything's happens while you're  _me_ , then we both die." He explains. "Do you have any possible alternative?"

"I know of one way, and it is painful. If I want to break free, then I have to break myself from your mind."

He visibly gulps. "What do you mean? How?" He asks.

"I'm another personality of you. If you allow me out of your mind, then I'm free. Only problem is, this is really going to fucking hurt both of us, but we won't die. Do you want that? I will be a changed person after this. I'll actually  _be_ a person."

He looks at himself and thinks for a few seconds. "Yes I do. Just promise me you won't be evil anymore."

"I won't be the same after this? Ready? I ask.

"Fuck it. Better now than never." I nod and disappear from his mirror. When I leave, I see a white light, shining in the void. I go to touch it.

I pull back as it burns my hand. "Fuck! That hurts!" I look at it once more. "It's my only way to be free. This pain is temporary, while the reason is unlimited with joy." I walk up to it again.

I start to push on it. "It hurts so much!" I continue to push, hearing the barrier crack. "Please! Let me be free!" I give it all my strength and break the barrier. All I see is white for a solid minute. I thought I was dead until I see Kyle staring at me. I look down to see I'm basically looking like a ghost.

"I'm here. Thanks for this. I'm free now."

"What now?" He asks.

"I don't know. I'll figure it out." I leave his house, smiling happily for the first time.

I soon find myself near an old, abandoned factory. I sit down outside it, staring at everything and nothing. I feel tears roll down my face. The world is so full of color, beauty and sound. "I feel alive for once. Actually, I AM ALIVE!" I shout.

As I shout and pump my fist into the air, I couldn't help but stare at it. It's not like it was before. "What is going on?" I run around the building until I see a window.

I see my reflection or what is suppose to be my reflection. My whole body looks like it is nothing into something. "What is going on with me? Am I dying?!"

_Your being wrote in to the story. Your alive now in this reality. You actually got out of the void. It's quite difficult to do that. Most people don't have the willpower to go through that type of pain just to be free nowadays._

After a minute or two, I look at myself again. "Holy fuck! I'm so...similar to him." I look like him, but there are many ways to see I'm not. My long, dark hair, my yellow eyes, my slightly muscular size, and my height. I must be a inch or two higher than him.

"This is so...different. You did this?"

_Yep, I did. Also, you still have some of your old self in you. That is something I couldn't change. Depending on how angry you get, the more you other "appearance" will show. You know, your Mr. Hyde outfit with those eyes? You'll be that basically._

"So, what now?" I ask him.

_I can't decide that for you. You're a free man now. Do whatever you want. I'll keep in touch._

With that, silence falls again. "I can make my own decisions. I guess I'll start tomorrow." With that, I sit down and admire the world around me till the sun comes up. "I'll show up to Kyle's house tomorrow. Suprise him." I can't wait for the rest of my life.


	7. Spending Time With Sayori

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just something funny: I was originally going to name this "Hanging Out with Sayori." You can understand why I didn't.

I walk up to Kyle's house and I start to knock on the door when I suddenly remember something. "Kyle's going to be expecting Monika. Well, better now than never."

I proceed to knock on the door. Within a few seconds, Kyle opens it and puts on a confused face. He looks up and down at me. "Excuse me, but who are you?"

I step closer. "Kyle, it's me, Sebastian." He suddenly has a suprised expression. "Well, how do I look?"

"Different than what you looked before. In some ways, you look like me." He saids.

"Well, I was a part of you, so when I started to change myself, I guess I formed myself an image similar to you. It almost felt like I was being written in like code."

He let's me in and I stand in the living room. The whole atmosphere feels so different, almost positive. "That's great to hear Sebastian. So, where are you living?"

"I...I really don't have a place yet, since it was night. Tomorrow, I will find down place to live. Just for tonight, can I stay for tonight?" I ask.

"Yeah, sure you can. You know Monika is coming here in a little bit. So, what are you going to do?" Before I can answer, I hear the door open behind me. When I turn around, my heart skips a beat. Sayori was standing in the doorway with a pink shirt and denim shorts.

"Hey Kyle, how are you doing?" Sayori asks him. She then notices me and flashes a smile. I feel sweat forming on my face. "I'm sorry. Who is your friend?"

_I probably shouldn't tell her my actual name. She may assume that I'm the Sebastian that has been Kyle's mental bully, which I have been._

"C-call me Henry." I walk up to her and shake her hand. Her hands feel so smooth, it takes me by suprise. I keep my composure. "And your name is?"

Sayori. I'm Kyle's friend and have been for a long time." She looks at him. "Kyle, your friend is awfully nice. Kinda reminds me of you."

I feel myself sweating more than ever. I don't know why I'm so nervous. Is it because I just became a person a little over 12 hours ago? Kyle suddenly pipes up. "Hey Henry, why don't you hang out with Sayori for a while since Monika's coming over?"

I start to talk, but it comes out in stutters. "I-I wouldn't mind. What about you S-Sayori?" I said.

 Sayori smiles excitedly. "That would be fun. Maybe we can go to the park. C'mon, let's go." Sayori saids eagerly. She walks out and I follow her. She starts walking and I follow.

We walk on for several minutes, not really saying anything. I feel uneasy for some reason. I want to say something, but I'm afraid of what to even talk about. Thankfully, she speaks up. "So, how long have you've known Kyle?"

I think abou that. Sayori has basically known him her whole life, so if I say ever since we were kids, she may question why she never seen me. "I have only known him recently. I met him in one of my classes and we have been friends since then."

Sayori nods. "I basically known him since childhood. We have been the best of friends for a long time." We walk in silence for a moment. "What do you like to do?"

I haven't ever done anything, at least that wasn't beneficial. I have always caused mayhem when I was switched with Kyle. But... "I like to draw and do art."

Sayori looks at me, excited. "Really? That's so cool. I like to do so poetry at my club after school."

"The Literature Club?" I ask. She nods. "Kyle is in there, isn't he?"

"Yep. I can tell he is really happy there. Even more happy since he got with Monika. You know her?" She asks.

"Isn't she like the most popular girl in school?" She nods. "Then yeah, I've heard of her. It's nice to see Kyle be with someone for the first time. Say Sayori, someone like you must be dating somebody right?"

_Geez, that is pretty direct, isn't it?_

"No, not really. I really haven't had a interest in anyone." She replies. Soon enough, we make it to the park. It looks so beautiful, it may make me cry. If only Sayori wasn't hear, I would. "Henry, your spacing out."

"Oh, sorry. I haven't seen anything like this before." I reply.

"That's fine. I always used to come here with Kyle all the time." She stops and looks excited. "Hey look, someone is selling some drinks over there." She then pats her pockets. "Oh no. I totally forgot to get money when I left the house. Henry, do you got some?"

_*spawns wallet* Here you go. Have fun._

I feel a wallet appear in my pocket. I take it out and look in it. "Fuck, that's a lot of money." I think to myself. "Ok, let's go."

Sayori takes off immediately. I go as well, but I can't help but admire her. Why do I feel this way? It's something that I never felt before or seen before. 

I buy us a drink and we proceed to walk around the park. It's nice to be able to do this with someone. It's weird that I especially feel this way when I'm around Sayori. I proceed to take a sip.

_That's something I didn't even expect. Sebastian, I think you fell in love at first site._

The fact I heard that makes me spit out my drink. I was goi g yo protest until I realize Sayori qas right beside me. "Henry, what is wrong?" She asks.

"N-nothing. I'll...I'll be back." I tell her. I walk away and speak again when I'm far from her. "Don't be full of yourself asshole."

_That how I'm having to write it out because that is how you are thinking. Face it, you are in love._

"Whatever." I take some napkins and wipe my face. I throw them away when I notice 2 people that look familiar from somewhere coming towards me.

"Excuse me. We are looking for a kid name Kyle. Do you know where he lives? He has brown hair and blue eyes."

"Y-yeah sure I know him." I give them an address and they thank me. They start to walk away from me. "One question. Why are you looking for him?"

The woman turns around and looks at me. "Kyle is going to miss us." What is that suppose to me? I was going to start to walk toward Sayroi, but she is running towards me.

"Henry, did you tell them where Kyle lives?" I nod. She has a scared look on her face. She tries to call Kyle, but he won't pick up. "This is not good. Those are his junky parents."

Oh fuck. No wonder why they looked familiar. "We better get to him." She and I start to run back. I call the cops and tell them the address as I fear what may happen to him.

His parents...his damn parents are back. The thought of that is making me angrier by the minute. It's only when I realize what  _Kyle_ told me yesterday that I start to fear. What if Sayori sees me change instantly?

We are close fo his house. I can hear screaming. I look at Sayori. "Hide in your house. You'll be safe." She does as I say and as soon as she is in, I start to change. I can feel my sense of evil come back as well as my outfit that I stole. "It's me, Sebastian."


	8. What Do I Even Feel? Pain or Love?

I start to walk towards the house when I remember something from the past. The womans name is Elyssa and the man is Ishiro. I see that Elyssa has a gun pointed at Kyle, who is on the ground.

"We know that! But we won't get a worse charge than you! One of those kids you attacked got out in a coma, 2 won't be able to walk the right way again, and one is paralyzed from his waist down!" She screams.

_Admiring my work.on assholes who were going to kidnap a girl? Funny that's coming from them._

Kyle gets up and looks at them."I didn't do that! Never!"

"Oh really? Then who Kyle?" Ishiro asks.

Guess it's time to introduce myself. "That would be me." They turn to me and suddenly have horrified expressions on their faces. "I did that and with pleasure. I wouldn't want the one he loves to be hurt." I say with a sadistic smile.

"What...the...fuck...are you?!" I can hear Ishiro's voice cut up form fear in his sentence. He pulls out his own gun.

"What am I? I am Sebastian, and I am free." I grab Elyssa's gun and throw it to the side. As I do that, I see Kyle tackle his father to the ground. 

"You...bastard. You did this to me. Now you will feel my anger!" He snaps and starts punching his father. I can see with each puch, he is getting more angrier. Before I know it, 10 seconds had past, and Ishiro was covered in blood.

Elyssa gets free from my grip. "You bastard! Die!" Elyssa screams facing Kyle. Before she can move, she gets knocked out. I turn and am suprised to see Monika was the one to put her down.

"Your not touching him. Not ever." She said. It was honestly kind of funny to see her do that. The joy gets taken away from me when she faces me with a scowl. "So, your Sebastian. The thing that has tortured him for years?"

Fuck, I wasn't expecting this anytime soon. "That was a different part of me." Bedore I can say anything else, she cuts me off.

"Doesn't matter. What matters is that you still did it, with no remorse." She saids. I feel guilty the fact that this is happening. I'm suddenly reverted back to the way I was earlier. Kyle walks over and soon Monika eases her tension a little bit.

Soon later, police came and arrested them, questioned both me and Kyle, which we had to lie to make sure we both didn't get arrested as well, and it was over. Even though it was, I'm not sure if what we said will be believed.

"Think they will believe them?" I ask. Kyle chuckles a bit.

"Even if those psychos tell them the truth, they are so drugged and already have many records on them, they will be there for a long time." He explains

"Well, what now? Both of you know my real name, but Sayori doesn't." I say.

Kyle sighs. "Well, go tell her your real name. Don't see what the problem is."

"If I tell her my real name, she will wonder why my name matches the one of your other personality, which is me." I say. Kyle turns to his shoulder to look at Monika, who is shooting me a dirty look. He pulls me in close.

"Tomorrow, you should join the club. If you do that and show the good in you, maybe Monika and Sayori will lighten up to you." He whispers to me.

I think it's a good idea, but I don't want to join just because of that. However, I don't have a choice. "Fine. If that's what it takes." I tell him before I walk off to Sayori's house. I get to her doorstep and I stop mid-knock.

_What will she think of me? Will she hate me so much? Why does that thought make me feel sad?_

I proceed to knock on her door. She opens it seconds later and gives me a huge hug before I can say anything. Her body feels so warm and comforting. She stops when she realizes what she is doing.

"Ehehe. Sorry. I'm just glad you and Kyle are okay." She saids. She notices my down look. "Henry, what's wrong?"

"I...I need to talk to you about something." I tell her. She invites me in and sits down on the couch. I sit opposite of her. "What I'm about to tell you is something that will make you probably hate me, but I need you to hear me out." She looks confused, but nods. Here we go...

"First off, my name is not Henry. It's Sebastian, which means I'm Kyle's sort of mental bully. But I was never like this. At first, I was his imaginary friend when he had no one to talk to at his house. I was good and kind, until his parents left.

"That's when Kyle started to have depression. Because I was made up in his mind, it changed me in many ways. By my looks and personality, I was so different. I never wanted this, but over time, I soon morphed into liking it: making Kyle suffer.

"Recently, I have started to grow back into my caring ways because of the Literature Club and Monika. I saved her Thursday night from being kidnapped by a group of high school assholes, but it was because I _wanted_ to.

"Over the past 2 days, I have started to change myself into someone nice and presentable. But, I know that won't change the fact that I have made Kyle's life a living hell for pleasure, even if I didn't want to.

"I'm not asking for forgiveness because I don't deserve it. What I'm asking is for you to know what I actually am. Monika is definitely on edge with me and I don't blame you if you are too."

She looks at me stunned and confused. This is a lot to take in, especially when someone has told you they made your childhood friend suffer. She finally speaks up. "What are you feeling right now?"

"Hatred towards myself, grief, pain, depression, anguish, resentment, and so on." I tell her. I feel a tear start to streak my face.

"Do you feel bad that you were doing it when you were like that?" She asks.

"Yes, but I couldn't care less. I was stuck in a void with no way to get out. All I knew was to torture Kyle and others because that was how I was created. Being stuck in a endless void of depression makes you do things you never wanted to." I break down crying.

_I never felt like I would have all this pent up emotion inside me. Now I know what Kyle feels like and I deserve it. Every last bit! I am a monster that thrives on making people hurt. I should just di--_

My thoughts are interrupted by a warm embracing hug. It takes me by suprise that I wince by how nice it feels. I don't know what to do but sit and do nothing. 

She starts to speak. "Sebastian, I forgive you. I can only imagine what it is like to be forced to do something that you never would have wanted. But you are a nice person, just like Kyle. Someone that is nice wouldn't feel the guilt you have, so you can't say otherwise."

I break down even more into her shoulder. I embrace her hug as I put my arms around her weakly. I never had anything as nice as this. Being forgiven when I shouldn't and being complimented by her...its something different for me. Is this what love is?

After time has passed, I stop crying and she releases me. "T-thanks Sayori. For forgiving me. It's...something that I haven't had before."

She smiles at me, which warms me up inside. "I know when people are good hearted and that is what you are." I nod and start to make my way to the door, but stops as she speaks. "You know the festival is coming up. You should join us. I'm sure with time, everyone will like you too."

I look at her and give her a smile of my own. "I'll make sure I do that." I leave and start to make my way towards Kyle. I notice he is looking off into the distance. I turn to see why and see Monika walking away elegantly. I can only imagine what he is thinking right now and it's probably what I am thinking.

"Kyle, you good?" I ask, snapping my fingers in front of him. He breaks out of whatever daze he was in. "Jesus, what were you thinking of?"

He gives me the most straightforward answer ever. "Monika." He said simply. I start to laugh so hard by goes straight out that answer was.

"Aren't you though? After all, you came from me." He asks.

"No, not really. I think I actually have another interest in some other girl." I say. I realize how straight out stupid that answer was, considering the only girl I have been around today was Sayori. I hope he doesn't notice.

Me and him walk inside, but I stay downstairs as Kyle goes upstairs. I notice on the couch is a pillow and blanket. "Well goodnight." He saids. I soon hear the door close. Thank God.

* * *

 

I try to go asleep, but I can't. All I can think about is what may happen when I do. I'm afraid of that horrifying dream I had in the void. Will I have it again, as an actual person? Will this always happen to me every night?

As I ponder on, I suddenly close my eyes and fall asleep. I start to dream, but it's not the same one I've had. I'm in a field of flowers, wondering around, looking at the beauty around me until I see the one most beautiful thing I've ever seen: Sayori.

She skips to me and gives me an embracing hug. Me and her look at each other when suddenly our lips meet. Her kiss was so sweet like strawberries. Her warmth enveloping me as we hold each other in our arms. I wishthis moment would go on forever.

I suddenly wake up. I look at the time. 5:15. "Well, that was weird." I get up and look down and noticed something rather embarrassing. "Why the fuck doesthis keep happening to me?" I think to myself.

_Told you that you were in love. What's the matter? Have you never heard of a wet dream? Well, now you know._

"Did you do this?"

_Nope, it was you. I can't make people change. I can only make minor things happen here so it's still normal. You were thinking so much about Sayori that this happened. You should be happy, considering the fact you are in love for the first time and it's with someone so positive and full of energy that even the Devil can't snuff it out._

"I-I guess. I...I need to get ready. The festival is today."

_You should probably write a poem. Make it about Sayori, but do it subtle. Otherwise, she will know immediately what you are trying to convey._

With that, he stops talking and I get ready. Today is bright and I won't have it drug down.


	9. My Turn To Suffer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the 3rd chapter I have put out today. I just can't put this story down. I love writing this one, even if I have to make it dark. Enjoy.

Maybe an omelet is not so bad to have in the morning. I start cooking and suprise myself with how well I am able to cook. I hear footsteps coming from the stairwell. "Bro, what are you doing up this early?" Kyle asks.

Without looking, I answer him. "I get up early all the time. Plus, I figure I would show some nice gesture." 

"So your fixing an omelet?" He asks. I nod. "That's fine by me. Looks like your doing well so you just finish up. I'm going to go get something." He goes upstairs and after a minute, he comes back down with a uniform. "I got you a uniform. Gotta have one to attend our school."

He places it on the couch and waits for me to get done. I finish up after a few minutes and hand him his plate. I take mine and sit down. I go to take a bite, but I stop and look around me.

_It's still hard to believe that this world is part of a story and people are reading it right now. Wonder what they think of everyone. Do they see me as a monster? A bully? Or someone innocent being forced to do something evil?_

"Hey Sebastian, can I ask you a few questions?" He asks. I snap out of my daze and nod. "Were you always ment to be...bad?" I take a few moments to think about that and respond.

"No, I wasn't. I remember the day I was created. You didn't have any friends, so you came up with an imaginary one, me, and called me Sebastian. I was like that until your depression got worst, which corrupted me. It turned me into the evil that I once was a couple days ago."

"What is it like to be free?"

_Basically what is it like to be out of Hell? Free from a void of darkness? Oh man, you have no idea._

I chuckle a bit. "Words can't describe the feeling of how it is. It's a new type of feeling that is the most joyous."

"One more question. How did Sayori take to you after you told her?" I shift around in my seat. I don't know how to respond. I think about it and answer.

"She took it differently than I thought. She actually forgave me when I told her everything. I didn't expect that at all, so it was a bit emotional for me. I never been told that I'm actually a nice person, considering I was forced not to be."

He has a down look on his face. I guess that impacts him too, considering I have tortured him for many years and I never wanted that. I wonder if he forgives me or he is trying to.

"Well let's just finish up and well make our way to the school." He saids.

He is totally forgetting something important. He's dating Monika, the high school sweetheart. "What about you? Your dating the most popular girl on school. How is that going to work out with all the damn jocks?" I ask.

He slightly laughs. "They won't do anything. If they do, I'll handle it." No, I can't let that happen.

"No, you have too much to lose. I'm not going to have you getting in trouble unnecessarily. I'll deal with them."  I told him.

"How are you going to handle them? Surely not the same way again." He saids.

"No, I wouldn't do that again. But maybe this way will put fear in their eyes." I chance my appearance so I can show my eyes. "No one is going to come around a couple with something out of Hell behind them." I revert back.

"Your going to follow us?" He asks.

"Well, I need to know my way around the school somehow." I reply. 

"I see. If that's the case, your helping me with those posters." I nod and get up. I pick up my uniform and go up to the bathroom. After putting it on, I observe myself.

"Something seems to be missing." I say to myself. I get out and go to his closet. I suddenly spot out the black trench coat that I stole. I put it on and go back to the bathroom mirror. "A bit dark, but it suits me." I feel off after saying that.

_Why did that comment make me feel uneasy? I have control of myself now._

I look at myself one last time before making my way downstairs to the living room to help Kyle. "You're wearing that?" He asks.

"What? It's the festival. It's not like any of the teachers is going to care."I reply. He shrugs and we finish up with the posters. We start walking down th street when Kyle speaks up.

"I should probably text Monika to let her know that I got this handled." He pulls out his phone and texts her. I just stand and watch, not even noticing that we are right in front of Sayori's house.

_He looks so happy. I wonder if I can ever feel something like that. It would be nice to have that type of emotion._

"Such a sweet girl you got there Kyle." I tell him. He smirks.

"You have no idea." We start to walk until Sayori comes up to us.

"Hi Kyle. Hi Sebastian. How are you doing?" Sayori asks.

"Fine. Just caring some posters to the club. You excited?" Kyle asks.

"Excited? I can't wait! It's going to be so much fun!" Sayori saids. She starts to spin around all happy. I just can't seem to take my eyes off her. This causes me to nearly trip and drop some of the posters.

_Great, what a fucking dumbass I am. I need to stop imagining things that won't happen. I'm the equivalent to the Devil and she is the equivalent to a goddess._

"Oh, s-sorry about that." I frantically pick up the posters, but Sayori grabs one of them.

"Here you go Sebastian." She hands me the poster. I'm taken aback as of why anyone is being nice to me, especially her.

"T-thanks Sayori." I tell her. I look at Kyle who has a look on his face like he just realized something, but doesn't say anything. We make our way to the school. Sayori does most of the talking while me and Kyle listens to her. I can see that Kyle isn't paying as much attention as I am. I want to know her better so I can become good friends with her.

Before I know it, we make it to the clubroom. Kyle has a look on his face like he is ready for today.

We get into the club and some girls notice me immediately. "Hey Kyle, who is this?" A purple hair girl asks Kyle.

"This is Sebastian, one of my friends. He was thinking about the club after the festival." He responds. "Kyle, that is Yuri." He points to the purple haired girl. He then points to another girl but with pink hair. "And that is Natsuki."

Natsuki and Yuri looks excited to hear what he said, but Monika has a scowl look on her face. Yeah, she is still clearly pissed at me. I really can't blame her. Kyle then walks up to her with all the posters, which makes her mood change quickly.

After a few minutes of setting up, Monika looks at Kyle. So, you got the poem you are performing?" She asks him.

"Yeah, I got it in my ba-" He suddenly realized that he doesn't got it. I know he does because I picked it up when we were leaving. "Oh no. I think I forgot it."

I chuckle a bit. "Yeah, you did, but don't worry. I picked it up before we left. You were so fixated on your girlfriend, you forget to get it."

He starts to blush in front of Monika, knowing what I said was true. "Thanks Sebastian. That means a lot." He takes his and notices mine. 

"You actually wrote a poem?"

"Of course I did. If I wanted to join the club, then I might as well partake in some of the activities in it." I respond. I look at him and Monika to she that she is suprised. I wonder why she is. She decides to break the weird tension builded up. "Okay everyone! Let's start this thing!"

* * *

There is a big crowd here, listening to everyone's poems. While others don't acknowledge it, I see distinct points about everyone's poems. Monika is into what I guess is freeform writing with her topic about a overwhelming commitment to wanting something. I guess that would be Kyle.

Yuri's poem has a lot of metaphors to convey a story with deep meaning. I guess the topic is about the bonds of love, not ever breaking. It makes me think she is a relationship with someone she clearly loves. Natsuki's poem has a lot of cute rhymes that paint out her story. Her topic is similar to Yuri's, but in a different style. So they are both in love with someone. Kyle and his poem doesn't need an explanation from me because I know it is about him and Monika.

Sayori's is...different. Her poem style is somewhat a mix of Natsuki's and Yuri's styles. Her topic, for what I am trying to convey here, is about someone in  darkness having light shine on them once more so they will never feel alone again. This makes me feel...like it was ment for me.

"Okay everyone, that is the end of our event. Let us know what you think and thank you for showing up." Monika saids.

While everyone goes and talk to each individual person, I slip out the classroom, hoping not to be recognized. I walk down the hallway to the bathroom. I feel so sad for some reason.

_I hate everything for some reason. Why do I feel this way? Like I'm crashing in waves of hatred and sadness? This must be my punishment for being a constant help. I knew that even if I wasn't in the void, it would follow me._

I leave and go walk up to the roof. I open the door and look around me. "What is the point of life? None of this is real. I doubt that I will be important to anyone if I was to kill myself." Should I try?

_*smacks Sebastian in the head*_

"Ow! What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

_Thinking about killing yourself? Well, you are not going to. You'll hurt people if you do._

"Their not real! Neither am I!"

_You're real in this world! That's all that matters! Yeah, you may not be real in my world, but you are as real in your world as I am in mine! So go back to the clubroom and spend time with everyone._

 Even though I'm not in the mood to, I reluctantly do as he saids. I make my way and notice Monika walking away. "Hey Monika, where are-" She doesn't listen as she walks pass me. Something about that bothered me really bad.

I turn her direction. "Listen to me!" She stops and looks at me. "I know you hate me for what I did to Kyle, even though I never wanted to, but this won't make things better for any of us because of the past."

She has an angered look on her face. "You made him cut himself! You tortured him to the point he nearly never would have came to the club. You almost took away our happiness." That doesn't make things better.

"That wasn't me! How many fucking times am I going to say it!? I'm different and if you really want to know, I was planning on jumping off the fucking roof so you can be happy with him. Even though I have a interest in one person in particular, I put you and him ahead of my actual desires. I want to feel love, but if making you guys happy means me being nonexistent, then I'll fucking do it!"

She has a shocked look on her face. I don't say another thing as I try to walk away, but I can't bring myself to. I just made her feel sorry for me because she has every right to be angry at me. The pressure is swelling inside me

.

Ǐ̸̡̛̛̗̗̪̤̠̪̳̹̪̥͖́̿̏̆̍̉̓͊̅̓͑̈́̅̍͑̇͛͝ ̴̢̠͖̝͕͙͚̣͈̻̻̹̙̣̬̳̲̰̺͈̓͌̄̈͂̋͑̒̅̈́̋̉̍̉͌́͝͠͝f̵̢̳̠̮̝̰̳̱͚̟̭͈̝̳͓̈́̽͐̒̅̊̄̉̿̏̔̈͂̈̀̎͛̽̕͘̕͜e̶̱̲͈̤̲̫͛͐̅͛̾̑̽̋̿̀͒͑̕͘͝͝e̵̛͔͙̼̦̺̝̎͊̄͛̐͊̐͗͌̂͆͋̃͊͐ľ̷̥͛͒́͂̓̌͝ ̷͕̱̬͙̦̰̝͔͎̖̐̔͐̿̔͊̒̊̐͂̍́̋͑́̑̄͘l̷̢̼͕̫̤͍̦̤̤͓̻̺͔̰̗͚͕͚̝̻̹͚̎̈̉̒̎̅̓͋̌̃̐͌̂̏́̓͊̊̈́͝ï̵̟͉̩̱̱̯̟̟̖̟̜͎͕̏̊̿̿͝ͅͅḱ̵̨̧̛̹̗̠̠̺̯̰͚͖͕̼̫͍̦̟̗̞̣̮̿̓͑̃̉̓̑̔̆̎̾͒̓̉͠ẽ̸̦̜͍̣͖̙̋̔̆͊͊̾̓͝ ̶̨̧̛͙̥̗̠͍̜̝̆͌̂̒̐̈́̄͊̎͝͝I̵̧̧̮̗̹̫͖̼̬̯̲̞̭̝̳̼̖̲̮̰̣̟͈̒̏̓̒̍ͅ'̶͍̮̫̱̟̞̞̜̩̬̮̜̞͔͇̩̳͖̠͐̆̅̀̂͑̆͊̈͂͊͗̔̌̋̒̾͛̉͘͠͝͠m̷̧̢̛̖̰͓̜͕̙̹̗̣̤͕͓͈̮̹̻͍̥͛͂̐̑̐̂̽̓̒̚̕̕͜͜͜͠ ̶͇͎̳̺̿͆͊͒̑͂̊͆̓̋̈́͒̋͒̃́̅̅̚͝͝ä̴̧̢̨̟͖̳̱̻͇̜̫̞̭́̑̀͐̋̎͠͝b̷̡̛̳̤̤̦̫͖̟̗̮̪̝̮͇̦̮͖͖̼̬͎̦͕̟̏̿͛̈́̔̽̀͑͛̃̓͘͝ơ̴̧̨̛̛̩͇͙̐̀̋͋̅̎͐̀̑̎̾̆̇̅̍̕̚͝͠ư̵͚̥̬͎̲̩̤̗̬̱̰̖̯̤̲̈̄̋̇̄̉̈̐͌̓͆̏̕͜͠͝t̷͎̺̰͕͇̥͍͇̠̯̼̭̗͕̯̻͇̲̤̥̂̈́̏͊͊̿͘̚͜͠ͅ ̶̢̹̰͈̳̖̖̩̼̺͇̰̙̮̣͎͓̍̇̌̈́̅̓̈́̑̍̕͜͠ͅͅt̷̮̱̤͎̱̩̺͓͈̾̇̋̋̈͊͒̌̎̈́̏̓̈̑̒̚̕̕͜͝ơ̸͓̬̖͇̱ ̵̧͔̰̟̪͚͇̯̜͉͈̩̳͔͖͇͍̬̂̈̑̄͗̈́̂̊́͒͐̀̑Ś̶̫̣̬̫N̷̹̯̻̝̱̫͖̹̦̰̮̻̐̐̈́͆̚ͅÀ̷̡̡̡̳͇̭̯̹̟̗̩̙͈̬͕͂̇͑̈́̌͂̍̍͊̿͌̅̃̉̃̈́͒̚͜͜ͅP̸̧̡̪͔͚̰̩͓̦̟̳̤͖̥̥̗͍̲͍͗̔̓̏̓̐̄͑̓́̕ͅ!̵̯̘̭̖͕̱͍̮̠̰̬͚̤͋̈̽͂̓̔͂̈́͜͠͝͠͝͠ͅ

 

"Who is it?" She asks.

"S-s-Sayori." I stammer. Now she is really going to hate me.

"How much?" She asks. I shoot her a look. "How much do you love her?"

"I haven't even been alive for 48 hours and I'm already dreaming about her. I'm sure it's just stupid feeling that I'm developing early." I say.

"You actually have a chance with her, so don't screw it up. If you hurt her, I'll fucking kill you." She saids with a serious tone. It honestly took me by suprise the fact she said it like that, let alone threaten me.

"I won't. I have no intention." With that, she goes on to whatever she was doing and I walk back to the clubroom. Hopefully I can impress Sayori.


	10. Feelings In Poetry

I look at my phone before I enter the club room. "I'm late. Great first impression." I take a deep breath and enter. "Hey, sorry I'm-" I stop when I notice Yuri and Natsuki kissing each other passionately. "Oh, that is an interesting site. Didn't know you girls were dating." As I say that, they immediately stop and blush.

Natsuki looks pissed more than anything. "Go stick it up yours, you ass!" 

_Does she really look cute with anything she ever does?_

Seeing her trying to be mad makes me laugh. "Listen, I'm only teasing you guys. I think it's quite nice to see something like that. God knows I never experienced something like that." As soon as I realize I let out a bit too much, it's too late.

"Why is that Sebastian? Have you never been in a relationship?" Sayori asks. Out of all people to know this, she still asks me that. I still answer her question.

"Well...not really. I-it's been really hard for me to find someone who was actually interested in me." That comment makes me sad to know that. I really need to stop hoping that something happens.

Sayori walks up to me and grabs a hold of one of my shoulders. Her soft, gentle hands take me by suprise. "C'mon, I'm sure there is someone out there for you. Just have some faith."

_Is it bad that I hope it's you that I want?_

I manage to put on a smile on my face. "T-thanks for telling me that. I can see why you and Kyle are good friends." I don't know where that last sentence came from.

"Well, I guess we can share poems. Right Monika?" Kyle asks. He suddenly realizes that she is not in the classroom. I totally forgot to tell them I saw her moments ago. 

"Where is Monika?" Yuri asks.

"I got an idea. Don't worry, I'll be back." Kyle saids as he walks out the classroom. He is going to be shocked by what she is doing, whatever it is she is doing.

I get my poem out and walk over to Sayori. "Hey, I know that Monika isn't here yet, but do you think we should get started?"

"Maybe. I don't really know if we should or not." Re replies.

"Well, in any case, can I show you mine?" I stick my poem out.

"Sure. That would be nice." She takes it eagerly and scans over it. I titled it:

_The Light Of The Sun_

_The world would be in eternal darkness_  
_For time without end if not for the Sun._  
_The way it shines ever so bright of beauty_  
_Can make anything seem like life is fun._

 _I know what life is like to be in Hell_  
_To see a world in a endless void._  
_The Sun has shined through the pain of my life_  
_Now I see and feel things I can't ever avoid._

 _I don't deserve to feel the Sun's warmth_  
_The things I said and done can't be forgot._  
_But when the Sun shines its eternal light_  
_I am drawn to it and I feel it's love._

"Kyle, how much do you write?" She asks. I scratch the back of my head.

"Not very often, considering I haven't got the chance to until recently." I say. "Why do you ask?"

"It's...amazing. I honestly love it. I like how you use the Sun to make it seem like it's a person that brings joy to people when they are in a rut." She explains.

_Maybe because I was thinking of you when I wrote this poem._

"I'm glad you like it. Can I see yours?" She nods and gives me her poem and hands mine back to me. It's the same one she did for the festival, which is titled:

_Alone_

_A man walks in a valley of darkness_  
_Wondering though the void of his dark mind._  
_But he is out in a valley of peace_  
_Searching for something in his life to find._

 _The river sings its beauty all around_  
_The world is full of peace for all I can see._  
_But it gets silent as he wanders on_  
_Until he stops and find what is foreseen._

 _His mind is full of pain and negatives_  
_Which could end if he would express himself._  
_I reach out and takes his hand in my own_  
_You don't have to fake it, just be yourself._

When I read it for myself, the poem is so impactful. In a way, it could be about me or Kyle. I think it is for Kyle, since she is her friend. "Sayori, this is...I'm just as speechless when I heard it in the festival."

She giggles shyly. Wait...is she blushing? "Thanks Sebastian. I really tried hard on it. I've been in touch with my feelings recently. I find it easier to write about them in poetry."

"I can see. In a way, it sounds like you take from Natsuki and Yuri. Yuri for the mdeep metaphors and Natsuki for the cuteness, but serious." It makes her visibly blush now.

_Why does she look so cute like this? It's making me uneasy in a different way._

"I like the feedback. In a way, our poems seem to be like they are ment for someone." She saids.

_Oh fuck, she figured it out._

"You probably have had a interest in a girl recently. Say, who have you talked to today? Girl wise?" She asks. I can feel the pressure building up inside me.

I start to lie. "Oh, plenty. After all, I'm quite spectacular, but only the Literature Club more than anything." That last part wasn't a lie.

"I see. Well, they must be attractive in order for you to write about them." She saids.

"You are." I blurt out. Oh fuck!

"What was that?" She asks. I start to stammer.

"N-nothing. Just...you must find like someone too if you are willing to write like that." Before Sayori has a chance to say anything, Monika and Sebastian walks through the door.

"Sorry for leaving. I just needed to do something." Monika said. She looks over at me and Sayori. "Oh, looks like you two are already sharing."

"Is that a bad thing?" I say with a sharp tone. When I realize I did, I feel bad for giving such an attitude for no reason. She ignores it.

"No, not really. Honestly, it's kind cute." I don't think my eyes have ever opened up so wide as they did when she said that. Sayori giggles at the comment while I start to blush. Monika gives me a smirking smile.

"Well, here you go." I give her poem back to her. I proceed to show my poem to Yuri. She reads through it and looks back at me.

"Sebastian, is it?" I nod. "Why have you never joined the club? This is...amazing." Natsuki comes over instantly.

"Yeah right. Let me see." She snatches the poem from Yuri's hands and looks at it.Her expression goes from annoyed to suprised. "Well, this is something I didn't expect. It's so deep in imagery."

Yuri nods and agrees. "I must say, you are referencing to someone in particular. I can tell by the wayyou reference the warmth as love."

_I honeatly didn't think it was so obvious that I was referencing Sayori, but I must do so well with describing her for only knowing her for 2 days._

"Well...I have had a sudden interest in someone." I reply. Hopefully they don't go in full detail of who.

"Interesting. Hope you have luck with that." Yuri said. She hands me my poem back and proceeds to talk to Natsuki about something.

Kyle walks up to me. Before he does, I take out another poem so he doesn't start assuming something. I hand him that instead.

He has a worried look on his face as he reads it. Maybe I shouldn't have done this. "Sebastian, are you okay?" He asks.

"Yeah, I am. Of course I am." I take my poem and leave before he can ask anymore questions. I done fucked up so much. That's all I do and all I have ever done. I...I need to go somewhere.


	11. More Than Meets The Eye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I had to rewrite the last half twice because all of it for deleted for no reason. Thanks a lot AO3! I can only hope it turned out well, considering I remember most of it. I still think the original is better.

I run up to the roof again. I need some more air to breathe. It seems like no matter what I'm doing, I'm dodging all my emotions and feelings. Why does this happen to me only?

_**Just open your Third Eye**._

Not this again. This was suppose to be in my dream. Why is it happening now? That voice in my dream is so haunting.

_**We won't leave you alone till you give us what we want.** _

**"** Just get of my head. This isn't real."

**_It's not real yet, but it will be soon. Your feeble mind is crumbling under the stress. It'll open up and you will be reborn to serve us. You'll be our tool for destruction._ **

"I'm never going back to the way I was. Never!"

_**But you will. You can't delay the inevitable like Kyle can. He is getting what he deserves as well. You both will suffer until we get what we want!** _

"Get out of my head. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" I get on my knees, pleading for the pain to stop. "Please...stop this. I don't...want this. Please..."

I start to hear footsteps come up from behind me. I get up and hide around the corner. The doors fly open and I peak to see who it is. Its...Sayori. She puts her elbows over the edge and looks down.

"Oh look. Kyle is leaving, happy to be with someone." She saids. Why does she sound sad? " I can't understand my feelings. Why do I care for someone who is my exact opposite?"

_What is she talking about? Who could she possibly mean? It's not who I think it is...is it?_

"I haven't got a chance to know him well, but when he compliments me, it feels nice in a way I can't describe. If only he felt the same for me." I hear another set of footsteps coming. "Oh hey Monika."

_Great. How the hell am I suppose to escape this situation? Why did I come here? I should have went home. Execpt...I have no home._

I remember the fact that I have nowhere to stay. I'm completely alone in this world. This is the life that was intended for me. Never will I be free form the one fact: I am alone.

"Sayori, what are you doing up here?" Monika asks. I hear Sayori laugh.

"I'm just clearing my head. I saw Kyle walk off. I figure you would be walking with him." Sayori saids. Monika sighs.

"I know. He said he had to talk to Sebastian, even though I never seen him leave the school." Monika says.

_So I'm only taking time from Monika and Kyle. I need to die so I don't keep being a distraction._

"Maybe he is the art room. After all, he told me he has an interest in art." Sayori replies.

Monika giggles. "You sure know a lot about him. Say, you wouldn't have a interest in  _him_?" Monika asks. "After all, he has moments where he can be a charmer."

_She doesn't mean that. I'm a fucking asshole who deserves to be beat the fuck out of by a baseball bat._

I can hear Sayori stutters. "N-n-No! I don't like him! He's new and that would make me desperate." Hearing that make my heart bleed in pain. I hear Monika chuckle.

"If that's the case, why did you write your poem about him? And the way you presented it at the festival made it seem like you wanted to help someone through a dark void by you shining light on them. You can't lie, especially if you are blushing like that."

_Why is this painful and nice to hear? Where the FUCK are my emotions?_

"I...I guess your right. There is something about him that make me feel safe and secure. He has the warmest hugs I ever felt. When he compliments me, I feel my heart flutter. Is this okay to feel this way?"

My mind just stops thinking. Did she...actually admit to liking me? Is this a good thing? How can I have a huge impact on someone in 2 days? My thoughts are interrupted when I hear a phone chime. It came from me!

_Fuck! Now what!? What do I do?_

"Oh course it is Sayori. If I were you, I would try to get closer to him. You may never know what may happen. Take it from me. I gotta go." Monika saids and I hear footsteps depart. I hear Sayori sigh.

"Maybe I can get closer to him. I can text him when I leave, ask him if I can come over."

_This is going to be difficult._

I hear her depart and I breathe a sigh of relieve. I can make this work. I look at my phone. It's a text from Kyle.

_Kyle: I'm getting professional help. I'm asking Monika to accompany me now._

_That voice...was right. He doesn't deserve this however._

Before I can think anymore, I get a text from an unknown number. It's Sayori.

_Sayori: Hey it's Sayori. Kyle gave me your number. I was wondering if you can come over today at my house. I wanted to review some stuff about our club._

_Me: That sounds good to me. I'll be there later today. How does 6 sound?_

_Sayori: That's good to me. I'll see you soon!_

_Me: You too._

* * *

It's a little bit before 6, but I thought I should show up early to make a good impression. Before I came here, I put on some more casual clothing from Kyle. It's literally a white hoodie shaded with a bit of black and blue jean's. I couldn't find anything else worth wearing.

I knock on the door and after a few seconds, she opens the door. She is wearing the same thing a yesterday. "Hey, you're a bit early." She saids.

I scratch the back of my head. "Well, I figured I make some sort of an impression." She let's me in and looks at me.

"Nice outfit." She saids. "Now since you are in the club, I need to tell some stuff about it. There really isn't much asked for. You just need to write a poem and accept people's difference."

"You don't have to worry about that. I have no room to judge out of anyone." I tell her. "So, is that it?"

"Y-yeah. That is it." She replies.

"You seem upset. Is there something that you want to talk about?" I ask. She suddsntl beats her eyes away from me. "Sayori, if something is wrong, I need to know. I  _want_ to know."

She slowly looks at me. "Did you know I suffer from depression?" She asks.

"I was there when you told Kyle." I replied.

"How did you feel when I told him?"

"I never got the chance to see the outside world with his friends around, but when I heard that you were suffering the same problem as Kyle, I tried so hard not to make you both suffer. Kyle never told anyone of himself, but the fact he was so strong to help someone with similar problems, I didn't want to feel the pain someone like you felt. He didn't deserve the pain and neither did you."

With that last statement, she basically springs towards me and hugs me tightly. I return the gesture just the same. She buries her head into my shoulder and begins to cry. I feel hot tears fall from her face onto my jacket.

_What is causing her such pain? I thought she had better her depression a while ago._

"Sayori, I want to know what is bothering you. Trust me because I trust you." I tell her. She slowly lifts her head up.

"I...I feel so alone. I have beaten my depression, but that doesn'tchange the fact that I am left alone because of it. My own parents left me because of it." She told me.

_Why is this world full of assholes? Before, I wouldn't have even batted an eye towards anything like this, but now all I want to do is rip their FUCKING HEADS OFF!_

_Why was that thought so dark? Why am I content with it though? Just how much do I care for this girl? My answer is simple: she is all I want to care for._

"Sayori, would it help you if I was to stay here with you? Just for a few days?" I ask.

"Sebastian, I can't burden you with such a thing. Plus, I have only known you for a few days." She replies.

"It doesn't have to mean anything. Think of it as a way to help me out since I don't have a home to sleep my own head at. Soon, I will find a house and I will be out of your hair in no time."

"Where will you sleep?" She asks.

"The couch doesn't sound too bad." I tell her.

"No, I can't allow that. That wouldn't be fair to do that to you. I'll give you the bed." She saids.

"You're crazy to think I'm letting you sleep somewhere rough in your own house. I will never allow that."

"Then sleep with me." I nearly choke on the air I breathe. She walks up to me. "Are you okay Sebastian?"

"Y-you realize what you just said, right?" I ask her.

"Yeah. Sleep with me. You said it won't mean anything, so nothing will happen." She got me there.

"If you really mean it, then I don't got a choice." I look at the time on my phone. "It's getting late. You should probably shower first. I'll make something." She nods and heads upstairs, leaving my head swarming with thoughts.

"Me sleeping with Sayori. This is not how I ever expected things to turn out today."

_Trust me, neither did I. This was more difficult to put out than I thought. Your lucky that phone was Monika's that ringed._

"Can you give me an explanation as of why that fucking voice is in my head?"

_I don't know myself. What I have learned from my experience with depression in a void is that it never really leaves you like you think. It is only silenced by great things. Maybe sleeping with Sayori-_

"Shut up, you ass. This isn't exactly the easiest thing to do."

_Ahaha! I only tease you Sebastian. I know it's hard. Especially in many ways, but I have faith in you. Push on, but not in that way. Got you again! LATER!_

"...asshole."

_I heard that!_

"I know you did. It was ment to." I take a few seconds to think about today's events before I start. What will happen later on down the road? Will she love me the way I do her, or is this something I deserve?

 


	12. Project Libitina

I look through Sayori's freezer. "Frozen pizza doesn't sound too bad. I take it out and put it in the oven. I start to turn back when I notice something in a reflection of a nearby knife. I walk over to it and pick it up. "My...eyes. Just everything."

In the knives reflection, I can see my past self. "Face it Sebastian. This is who you really are. You can't change that fact." It said.

I put it down and shake my head. "Your wrong. I'm better, stronger than that." I need to get some clothes, but it's night.

_*spawns bag with clothes and other items* This should suffice for a while. You should be able to buy clothes for yourself still._

"Thanks." I look through them. At least he knows what I would wear. I also see in the bag that there is art supplies. Paint, brushes, canvas, stand, pencils, expensive pens and alcohol markers. "At least I can occupy myself for the time being."

I take out the stand, a brush and paint and set it up. "What should I do?" I ask myself.

_Close your eyes, let your mind and hand become one, and let it drift through the canvas._

"I guess I could do that." I close my eyes and I can only hope what I do doesn't look too terrible. I put a few dabs of paint on the brush and let it drift through the canvas. I continue to make the same technique over and over again. I can feel the emotion of whatever it is I'm painting.

When I think I'm done, I open my eyes. "Oh...my...God." I had painted myself with what looks like a shadowy figure behind me. A basic representation of the past lingering on to myself. The fact I even did this without seeing it is...amazing, yet scary.

"That looks amazing Kyle." I jump when I heard Sayori behind me. She giggles by my fright. "Sorry if I scared you."

"No, i-it's fine. I'm not worried. I just zoned out, that's all." I said. Sayori sniffs the air.

"Oh, making pizza, are you?" She asks.

"Well, it's dark out and I really didn't want to have to make you wait for something that would take a while." I said.

"Awww, that's so sweet." I try to hide the fact I'm blushing right now. "Well, the showers up there. You can go ahead." I nod, take my bag and head upstairs.

"Her house really is nice. Better than that factory I slept in a couple nights ago." I finally find her shower. "At least I will feel better now."

10 minutes pass and I'm finished. I take a towel and start drying off. It's only when I start to dry off my arms that I noticed them. I guess I couldn't see them clearly in the shower. The cuts made by Kyle while o was him are on my arm.

_I guess they are a part of me since I came from him. It would only make sense that since I caused him to do that, they would be left as a reminder._

That makes me sad to know that I made him do that and I convinced him afterward to do it. Why does he try to be friendly with me? I don't deserve it at all.

I put on a shirt with long sleeves and go downstairs. When I get down there, I see that Sayori had already eaten half of the pizza. "Sayori, how hungry where you?" I ask.

"Very. Plus I didn't want it to go to waste." I sit down across the table and get some myself. "Why are you wearing that? Its spring."

"Its comfortable. Plus I like it." I told her. She thinks nothing else of it and continues to eat, as do I. After a few minutes, she yawns.

"I'm tired. I think I'm going to go to bed. You coming?" She asks.

"I'll be there in a bit. I'm going to clean up." I told her. She walks upstairs. I wash the dishes and put them up. Before I go back to the living room, I look at the knives again. I pick the same one as earlier and look at the reflection.

"I told you, didn't I? You are not able to escape your fate. Just give them what they want. Open your Third Eye." I put it down.

_What the hell is the Third Eye?_

I open up Sayori's laptop that was on a shelf. I opened it and am relieved that it wasn't locked. I searched up "Third Eye." I scrolled down the searches. Nothing. "Third Eye Project." Nothing. I keep it on and on until I nearly have up. "What else can I do?" I ask myself. I come up with one last, half-ass attempt search.

_"Open your Third Eye."_

* * *

The first thing that brought up was a search that was nothing but percentage symbols. My curiosity made me click on it, which I wish I didn't. I looked at the web address, only to find it titled "projectlibitina.com".

The site was a monthly examination report for someone named Libitina. The rest of the name was 6 X's. The date this report was filed was January 5, 2004. It made me feel relieved that no one from the club was the same DOB as the report, but I don't know why. 

The person was a female and was apparently highly significant to whoever filled the report. This must be a serious report since whoever was to touch the report would be executed. The physical report I look at is difficult to understand in its significance.

In the physical report with a label "Third Eye", it kind of scares me. This girl was 3, being tested on in what I assume inhumanely, and is apparently made crazy. She had a fast reaction time, but the rest in unable to make sense. The one thing I notice is the notes below it. 

 This girl is fully capable  to pass the emotional and physical response test, but when it was time to control them, she failed. The last thing I notice is the Third Eye activation was perfect, but suppressing it failed.

The last thing I saw was that she was capable to respond to respond minor and major treat levels and eliminate it eliminate it with no struggles. This shook me to the very core. The last thing I read is what I couldn't even begin to explain.

 _"Libitina has not yet recovered from the termination of XXXXXX and is not_  
_expected to do so in the near future. Continuing to administer these tests will_  
_only accelerate the deterioration of Libitina's health._  
_You are choosing to avoid the measures necessary to prevent a repeat scenario,_  
_Doctor. Will you not have as much faith in your personnel as you do in your God?"_

_Why is this thing they are trying to control? It's obviously not human, since they have to use the word suppression. This is something that is not of this world._

I close the tab and delete the search history. I don't want Sayori to find out about this. I put her laptop up where I got it from and head upstairs to her bedroom. I gently open the door-

_Shut the fuck up. You have no idea that pisses me off._

What? All I was doing was-

_Yeah, I know! You know that's the line the MC thinks of before he discovers Sayori dead?!_

Fuck, I forgot. Sorry man.

_Its fine. Just, think of something else._

I  _open_ the door and see Sayori sleeping. She looks so cute and innocent when she sleeps. I honestly don't want to disturb her. I begin to close the door as I walk out. "Hello?" Sayori asks.

_Dang, I woke her up._

I walk back in. "Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's fine. Just get in." She said. I walk over to the side she isn't sleeping on and face the wall so I'm not looking at her. I try to get some sleep, but it doesn't work out so well. I'm so scared as of what may happen if I do fall asleep. My worries get canceled out as my eyes close.

**_I must say, you are passing more than Libitina did. It's  a shame she didn't make it far. Her fragile body just couldn't take the pressures of our testing. But now you are here to replace her. We will keep on until we get what we want._ **

_That same old voice in my dreams won't stop taunting me. I'm not even dreaming and all I can hear is his words echo through my head_.

_**With your suffering, we will benefit. Our past failures have only been minor stepbacks. But we have ways to get what we need most of our patients. Would Sayori be enough to give us what we want?** _

_Stop! You even dare touch her, you will never see the light of day again! Get out of my head!_

**_What are you going to do when we make her snap? When we force her to things that she fears most? What will you do when we...KILL HER?_ **

_STOP! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!_

I hit the floor hard. I shoot up to see that it's morning and Sayori isn't here. I try to calm my breathing, but I can't. I feel tears of pain and mostly fear, fall from my face. The voice in my head was picking at me dry, making me lose control. I put my hands over my face and cry a bit.

"Sebastian, everything okay up there?" Sayori asks. I hear her coming upstairs. I quickly wipe the tears from my face and try to make it seem like I didn't just wake up scared for someone's life. I walk out into the hallway.

I see Sayori almost at the top. Her smile makes my heart beat a bit faster. I give a smile back. "Everything is fine. I just woke up." 

"Did you fall? I heard a loud noise." She asks.

"N-no, I didn't fall. Like I said, I'm fine." I reply. She suddenly gasps.

"Sebastian, your head." She puts her hand on a spot of my head, immediately causing pain. I wince from it. "Sorry, but I have to see it." She takes a look at my head, but it's taken more time than it needs to. I look at her to see she isn't even staring at my head, but rather my eyes.

Something about her gaze makes my heart beat a bit more. Her sapphire eyes seem to be forever gazing through me. It's only when I notice her hand isn't on my head, but on my cheek.

_What is going on here? What is she doing?_

I speak up. "Uh, Sayori?" She snaps out of her gaze. She starts to stammer.

"S-s-Sorry. I didn't mean to do that." She said as she steps back away from me. "I just kinda zoned out somehow." She looks at her phone. She immediately has a worried look on her face.

"Sayori, what's wrong?" I ask. She shows me her phone. I see that Monika has told Sayori that she is taking Kyle to a therapist because he needed to. I hand her back her phone, only to see a slight tear falling from her face.

I pull her close to me. She looks up at me. "He'll be okay Sayori. If there is anything I know about him, is that he is tougher than he looks." I wipe the tear from her face. "He's in good hands."

"I-I know. I just hope he can get over this soon." She states. I nod in agreement with her.

"If we don't leave now, we'll be late for school." I said. She quickly takes note of that and runs to her room to get her bag. I grab the bag that  _Kyle_ gave to me and bolt outside. Me and Sayori make it to school barley on time. "See you soon." I told her. She waves goodbye and we part out separate ways.


	13. Friendly Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter I had ever wrote for sure. Hope it was worth the wait.

I must have zoned out so much of all my classes, because before I knew it, it was a lunch period. I went into the cafeteria and saw none of the club members. So all I did was sit by myself, trying to mind my own business.

All the sudden, a group of jocks came up to me, surrounding me. I look up at all 6 of them. "Hello there Sebastian. You don't know us, but we know you, so that's all that matters. I just need to ask you some questions regarding Monika."

I look at him dead in the eyes. "Why? What purpose would that serve?" He laughs and puts a hand on my shoulder.

_If this kid doesn't move his hand off of me, he will be lucky to even use it in the next 10 seconds._

"Well you see, she is with someone else that she shouldn't be with and all I need to do is make things right. Lame guys don't date popular girls. That breaks the status quo around here." He looks around him. "And we can't have that here, can we?" They all speak in agreement.

"Get this through your head really clear. She is with someone who makes her very happy. He could probably satisfy her more than you ever could."

He looks back at me, gripping stronger. "What was that last sentence?" He positions his head to where his ear is facing me.

I chuckle and move up closer. "I said-" As soon as I start to speak, I grab the arm he has on me, turn it to where he starts to feel pain, and slam his head on the table with his arm in my grasp. "She is with someone who can satisfy her more than you could, you stupid fuck!"

"Hey, let Randy go!" One of them say. They start to close in on me.

"Get any closer, I rip his arm out of his socket." I threatened.

"I doubt you will." The same guy replies. I start to turn his arm a little bit more and put my free hand over his mouth to cover his screaming. They start to back away.

"No! You stay here so you can listen to what I have to say." They stop moving. "Now listen very clearly, as I will only say this once. Stay away from Monika and Kyle. They deserve to be with each other. While your at it, stay away from me and anyone else I'm with, otherwise-" I turn his arm to the point I turn it anymore, it'll break. "-You won't like the outcome. Got it?" Randy nods furiously as well as the others.

I let go of his arm and pat him on the shoulder. "Good. See, that wasn't so hard?" Randy holds o to his arm. I push him away from me. "Now get lost assholes!" Randy looks back at me one more time before he starts to leave. "One more thing: never speak of this. It's not the status quo for a new kid to beat up a jock, is it?" He nods without looking at me and continues to walk on. His buddys follow suit.

"Hey Kyle." I look up again to see a familiar, beautiful face: Sayori. "Why are you sitting by yourself?" She asks. 

"I didn't see anyone from the club here." I reply.

"Well, can I sit with you?" She asks.

"Sayori, you don't have to ask to sit with me. I will always want you too." She brightens up with that last sentence and sits down. I figure she would sit across from em, but she chose directly beside me.

"So, how are your classes going?" She asks. I find it hard to answer because of how nervous I am around her.

"I-its good. Mainly boring." I reply. I hope she doesn't mind that. 

"It's been kind of the same for me." She suddenly looks at her phone. "Monika canceled the club meeting. She said we will resume tomorrow." As soon as she is finished reading, I get a text from Kyle.

_Kyle: Can I talk to you after school? It's important._

_Me: Yeah, I hope your okay. Gtg._

"Well, better get back to class." I say. I start to get up when Sayori stops me. I look at her with a suprised look.

 "I need to discuss something with you later. See you soon." She saids. She heads off as well.

_Just how busy is today going to be?_

* * *

Finally, school is over and I can leave. There are some things I need to get before I can head home. While I'm making my way down the street, I come across a fairly peculiar.

I spot Natsuki and Yuri drinking milkshakes at a stand. Well, at least that looks like what they were doing. Their kissing each other in a passionate way. When they finally part their lips, I walk up towards them. "Hello lovebirds." I said.

They look at me with a shock. "Geez, what are you doing here? Don't have anything better to do?" Natsuki said with a snarky tone.

"Actually, yes I do. I just figured I just come by and say hi." I say as I start to walk away.

"Hey!" Yuri said aloud. I turn around to look at her. "Would you mind if we ask you some questions?" She asks. 

_Why are people so willing to talk to me now?_

"Sure you can." I take a seat at their table. "So, feel free to ask me anything."

They take a few moments to collect their thoughts before they start to ask. "Why did you join the Literature Club?" Yuri asks.

"I wanted to get into more hobbies after school." I reply. It's a half lie. I also wanted to join because I wanted to get closer to Sayori and make things better for Kyle and Monika.

"What type of literature do you like?" Natsuki asks.

"I don't know much about what type of literature, but I tend to vary between different types of things. There are times I prefer stories that have complexity and there are times I prefer laid back stories like manga." I answer.

That took them both by suprise. Yuri starts to speak. "Your poem yesterday, that kind of reminded me of Sayori. How well do you know her?" I shift uncomfortably in my seat.

  _How am I suppose to answer that? They have never seen me till yesterday._

I try to come up with an answer. "I knew her through Kyle. I couldn't see her oftentimes, but when I did, she was the happiest I ever seen someone be. Me and her became friends like that."

"Thats weird. Sayori never mentioned you as your friend and she has always done that." Natsuki said.

"Well, me and her didn't talk as much. Only recently have we been talking more and I quite enjoy that." I reply. I hoped that they don't go further with that, but they did.

"Sebastian, how fond are you of her?" Yuri asks. I visibly swallow.

"Uh...what do you mean? I-in what way?" I ask. It must be clear as of how nervous I am now.

"Do you...like her?" Yuri asks. I must be sweating bullets right now because of how nervous I am now. I don't know how to answer.

"I...well..." I lose my train of thought. Natsuki gasps.

"You like Sayori?? Oh my God! That's so sweet!" She exclaims.

"I-I-I didn't say that! I didn't even answer!" I try to explain myself, but it's not helping me one bit.

"You shouldn't be embarrassed Sebastian. If anything, it is quite nice that you have an interest in her. She really doesn't do things like that, and you seem to be a nice guy." Yuri explains.

I scratch the back of my head. I don't understand how people see me as nice. If anything, I was a dictator just oppressing his people with no care and joy. They don't see that in me, so I must try to keep it that way.

"I-I gotta go. Nice talking to you gals. Enjoy each others company." I say with a wink before walking off. I start to head off to what I was originally trying to do: but some scar removes. I don't want her to see that and be reminded that I made Kyle's life a living hell.

* * *

I start to head back to Sayori's place when I realize that I need to talk to Kyle. I head up to his door and knock on it. He opens it up and let's me in.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" I ask.

"What the hell is going on with you?" He ask bluntly.

 I look at him confused. "What are you talking about?"

"You have been really weird since you became...you. I can see it in your poem, some of the things you say. I know something is wrong, so tell me what is going on."

I sigh and look down. "You ever felt like what you were wanting for so long that when you finally got it, it causes more problems than benefits?"

"I don't know what you mean by that. Can you explain what you mean?" He asks.

"I thought that I would be happy once I'm free, but there is many problems that only causes more pain. I never thought I would feel the things that I do." I reply.

"Like what?"

"Regret, loneliness, pressures bearing down on me. Why do I feel all of these?" I ask him.

"That is what it means to be a person. All of these problems are all of what everyone goes through on a daily basis. You can't stop feeling these problems. All you can do is fight through these problems. Sayori will help you a lot. Plus, you can get closer to her like that." He saids.

I don't want that to be the only reason why Sayori talks to me. I want her to get close to me because that is something she wants to do, not something she need to do so I can be happy.

I look at him. "O-okay. I'll try my best." Whdn I said that, he gives me a hug. I don't know why he is trying to do this, but it makes me feel happy to know that he is trying to put the past behind him.

_If only I could do that, it would make things easier._

He let's go and hands me a bottle of pills. "What is this?"

"Its a bottle of antidepressants. I made the therapist I went to write another prescription. I'm giving it to you to see if it helps." I take it and put it in my bag.

"Thanks." I start to walk out the door when he pipes up.

"So where are you staying?" He asks.

"Sayori offered me a place to stay in her house. She makes me sleep on the couch, so you have nothing to worry about." I said, even thought the last part was a lie.

"Quite the jump there. Went from liking her to sleeping under her roof." He said jokingly. I scoff and walk out.

I then walk over to Sayori's house. I walk in and find she isn't here. "That's weird. Where could she be?" I shrug my shoulders and put the bag down. I take out the stuff I had bought and apply it on my arms. "These should be gone if a week." I say to myself.

I look over to see that damn painting I did yesterday still there. I look at it meticulously.

_Is this what I symbolize as? Is this suppose to be a vision of my future? Or is it just something that I did because of how I was feeling at the time?_

Those thoughts run through my mind until I take it down. I set up another canvas and close my eyes again. I want to know what I'm thinking of.

I start to paint on the canvas, feeling the emotion of whatever it is I'm painting. I can sense the feeling that go through my body through the brush. After a few minutes, I open my eyes to see what I have done.

"W-What?" I ask myself. I had painted myself, holding Sayori in my arms in a way that is romantic. It looks like we were in a valley of flowers with cherry blossom trees everywhere.

I suddenly hear Sayori walking through the door. I take it down and hide it in my bag. She walks in. "Hey Kyle. Where were you?" She asks.

I walk over and see she is holding a few bags. "I saw Yuri and Natsuki and decided to have a nice chat with them. Plus, I need to run to the store to pick something up." I said as I take the bags from her.

She gasps. "Sebastian, your arms..." I look down and see I totally forgot to roll my sleeves down. "Did you..."

I stop her. "No, I didn't. I guess they were a reminder that I caused Kyle to do that to himself, making me feel guilty." I put the bags on the table and roll down my sleeves. "I never wanted you to see that, so I decided to buy scar removers so you never had to."

I put my hands over my face. She is going to remember that now and hate me for it. At least, that is what I thought before she put her hand on my shoulder. "Sebastian, it's okay. I don't think any different of you. What I said yesterday was true. I don't judge people because of the past."

Hearing her say that made me feel reassured about myself. "I hope you truly mean that. I'm still going to get rid of them anyways." She goes and sits down on her couch. I sit on the one beside her.

"Can I ask you something?" She asks. I nod. "How am I suppose to tell someone that I like them? Or even show them that I do?"

I rub my sleeves. "Depends. How long have you known this person?"

"Only recently, even though it seems that I have known him longer." She answers.

"What is he like?" She starts to think about what she saids.

_I must have been so out of it yesterday on the roof that I must have imagined that Sayori liked me._

"Even though I known him for a little while, I can tell you that he is a great person to hang around with. He is a bit down on himself at times, but I can tell he is more confident than he thinks. He is very protective about how other people feel that he will put them first before himself." She explains.

"Sounds like love." I say. "Was that poem you did yesterday for him?" She nods.

_That doesn't mean that it wa for me. All that was is wishful thinking on my part._

"How is he down on himself?" She takes a while to respond that it's like she didn't hear me. She finally speaks up though.

"He didn't have a great childhood for what I can tell. It seems like he had to be negative out of his own will. He oftentimes usedto take it out on others, including his best friend. I think he is better, but I don't know because y- he won't tell me."

_Did she almost say "you?" Naw, that is more wishful thinking._

"I think what you need to do is try to spend more time with him, flirt with him, make him see you have some interest in him. Eventually, he will do the same. If he doesn't because he is shy, tell him how you feel." I say.

She nods and takes out whatever it is she got. "I didn't feel like cooking today, so I got us Chinese food. Hope you don't mind."

I smile and take it. "It's fine. Rather nice thing for you to do than anything." She giggles and continues to eat. The rest of the day is nothing but laughs and jokes. It's honestly the best day I had in many years, scam when my twisted, dark mind lived to cause mayhem. It goes on until we have to sleep.


	14. The Confessions

It's been 2 weeks after the day of all of those conversations I had with everyone. It has been quite an adventure. I am so glad that everyone is still having a good time with each other. I know for sure Kyle and Monika are going to be together for a long time, especially since I threatened the school star to never get near them.

As for me and Sayori, it has been quite different. I know she likes me, but I can't bring it up to light that I feel the same. I want to, but I just can't stand to make her suffer with me. It's why I found a house to check out next week.

That's not the only reason I don't tell her. My dreams are getting worst every few days. It got to the point I had to cry into a pillow while Sayori was out of the room. I don't want her to see me like this. That's why I'm telling her when I come home today.

I decided to get some more art supplies, but I'm on my way back home. I texted Sayori to let her know I'm close to home.

_Me: hey, I'm almost home. Be there in a few minutes._

_Sayori: Great! See you in a bit <3._

_Why did she send me that? Is she really trying to make it obvious that's she likes me?_

I shrug it off and proceed on my way home. Before I enter, I get this weird sensation. "Should I really tell her? What may she say?" I ask myself. Unable to get the feeling off of me, I enter her home. The first thing I see is the one thing I didn't want her to find.

"Sebastian, what is this?" Sayori asks as she hold out the painting I made of us embracing each other. I start to stutter.

"I-I-It's not what you think. I was hoping you never find that." I said. My hands start to tremble with fear in her next response.

"Why would you hide this from me? I love it!" She said as she decides to hang it on the wall. I'm honestly taken aback from that response.

"R-really?You like it?" I asks shyly. She returns her answer with a hug, only taking me more by suprise. "That means a lot that you do."

_How am I suppose to tell her now that I found a house for me to live in? All of this feels nice, but I can't stand to make her see or feel what I actually deal with on a daily basis._

I step back from her and look at her. "Sayori, there is something I need to tell you." Before I can explain myself, she speaks up.

"Really? I have something to tell you too. I'll let you go first." She said. I take a deep breath, knowing this is going to hurt me to say.

"I found myself a house to live in. It's not confirmed, but there is a big chance that I will be buying it and living there." I say. As soon as I say that, I can see the joy fade from her face. Seeing that makes my heart shatter into pieces.

"Really?" I nod. "T-that's great." She said, even though it didn't sound genuine. "Nevermind what I was going to say."

She starts to walk away, but I put my hand on her shoulder. "No Sayori. I want to hear what you wanted to tell me." She shakes her head, so I turn her to me. "Please tell me. I really want to know."

She takes a breath and begins to tell me. "I...I don't want you to move." I raise an eyebrow. "Honestly, I wanted you to stay here with me."

"Why Sayori? Why do you want me here out of anyone else. You can have anyone else in the club to be here to occupy your time. What is it with me that you so desperately want me to stay? After all the pain and torment I put Kyle, your best friend, you still want me here. Why?"

I don't know why I'm so desperate of an answer. I'm not even sure if I'm even normal right now. All I feel is worry and guilt that I may cause the same agony to her as I did Kyle. I take my hands off her shoulder and step back.

"I don't want to hurt you Sayori. That's why I'm doing this. If I'm not around, you don't have to suffer from me." I say. I get on my knees and put my hands over my face. I don't want to cry, but the pressure building up inside is about to make me snap.

"You're nice to me in a way I never felt before. I feel things that I never knew even existed until you came along." She kneels down and takes my hands away from my face. I slowly look up to her glistening eyes. "Why did you think I even let you in this house to sleep in? I wouldn't do that to someone I had recently met if I didn't like them."

Those last words resonate throughout my head. I can feel my heart beating hard and fast. "What do you mean by that?"

She gets closer to my face. "What do you think I mean? I like you Sebastian. Ever since you told me about yourself, I can see that you never were what you said. You are probably the kindest person I ever seen. That's why I like you."

Hearing the fact that she just basically confessed herself to me and making me feel so vulnerable makes me feel happy and sad. I break down into her shoulder because that was the first time I actually believed that I was good. She wraps her arms around me and hugs me as I cry. I feel her stroking the back of my head and patting my back.

"Shhh. It's okay. Just let it out." She saids. Even though I believe her, there is still the fact that my nightmares are only causing me more pain. Will she help me with that burden?

 After a while, she let's me go and steps back. I get up and wipe the tears off my face. "I never felt so vulnerable than I just did. I guess that's what makes me like you so much." She gasps when I say that. "You're just so special to me that I am willing to open up to you more that anyone else. There is nothing that I wouldn't do than to be with you for as long as I live."

I can see that she is starting to shake. I don't know if it's out of happiness or her being nervous. "Sayori, will you be the thing I look forward to every day? Will you be my girlfriend?"

"I-I would love to. Yes!" She suddenly embraces me in yet another hug, but different this time. It feels as if she is almost afraid to ever let go of me again. I suddenly feel a teardrop hit my shirt. Is she crying?

I lift her head up to face me and wipe a stray tear from her face. I would usually back away, but I don't. We just stand there, looking in each other's eyes, not wanting to ever look away. My pulse is through the roof as I get a dizzy feeling.

_What the hell are you waiting for dumbass? Kiss her already!_

I put my face closer to hers and I see she does the same. I feel our lips meet and my mind goes blank. I'm suddenly enveloped by a warm feeling inside as we kiss. Her lips tasting like strawberries occupy my senses.

_Did she put on lipstick or something? ...No, it's Sayori for sure._

After what feels like an eternity, we finally part to catch our breath. "Sayori, that was..." I can't even finish my sentence. Luckily, Sayori does.

"I know." She saids. I can't stops staring into those blue sapphire eyes of hers. They are more blue than the sky on a sunny day. The type of eyes that fit a girl that brings sunshine on even the darkest of days. Perfect for Sayori, who brightens up the darkness in my soul.

"So, what do we do know?" She asks. I think to myself for a few moments. I pick up the T.V remote.

"We can always watch T.V." I suggest. She looks like she has no problem with it as she takes the remote and plops down on the couch. I sit right beside her as she flicks the channels until she finds something interesting to watch.

As she puts it down, she suddenly cuddles up to me. Taking initiative, I put my arm around her so she is more closer to me. She smiles as she watches the T.V. I can't help but to only watch her.

_I never thought she would ever want to be with me like this. Actually, I never thought I would have this. While things are rocky for me now, I'm glad to have someone like her in my life. For as long as I live, I will do anything to see her smile every day. Hmmm...I should write a poem about this when she falls asleep._

As if it seems like she read my mind, she dozes off to sleep, still holding onto me. I wouldn't think much about it, but the way she is holding me, it seems as if she let's go, she will lose me forever. Just how much has her parents abandoning her impacted her to the point she is afraid of losing me?

I look at the clock and see it is well around 9 PM. How long was I staring at her for?

_Only a couple of hours. I can't blame you for doing that. I would do the same if I were in your shoes. Having someone to help lift you up when you can't get up yourself is a feeling that can't be described. But you should probably put her to bed so you can do what you thought about._

Listening to _Kyle,_ I shake Sayori gently. She rises up. "Oh. Sorry about that. I just got tired." She said as if she was embarrased.

"I don't mind that Sayori. You don't have to worry about doing things like that around me anymore." I say, trying to reassure her. She looks at me with a concerned face.

"What are we going to tell the club? They don't know about us yet." She asks.

"Do you want them to know right now? Whatever you want to do, I'll follow your decision." I tell her. She ponders for about a few moments.

"Maybe not now. Later on, we will. They are still getting used to you, so they might find it weird that we just started to date." While I don't really care about what they think, I want her to be happy more than anything.

"Okay, we'll keep it a secret for now." I tell her. Happy to here that, she starts to make her way upstairs. Since she doesn't want anyone to know, I'll keep my suggestion at bay for now. I follow her and start to fall asleep.

Just when I started to fall asleep, I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn to face Sayori. "Yes Sayori?"

She looks nervous about something. "Can you...hold me?" Whike the question shocks me at first, I don't refuse. I pull her into my arms and here her giggle. "Your so warm and comfy."

"Anything for you Sayori." I tell her. After a few minutes, she is fast asleep. I wouldn't be lying to say that I am genuinely scared right now. My life is technically falling into pieces and here is this woman, so happy and cheerful no matter what, wants to be with me.

You would be scared to if you were in my shoes. You never had to worry about being stuck in a void of darkness and despair, torturing someone you used to be friends with. I know you see this, so ask yourself: Is what I'm doing right? Or am I allowing her to follow suit, even though she has given me purpose and joy?

I soon start to fall asleep. Today might have been a start of something good for me, so I want to see it when I wake.

 


	15. Get Out Of My Head!

It's the next day, Friday. Before, it wouldn't be so special, but now I'm more excited for it than before. All I have to do is make it through today and I can spend the weekend of Sayori.

However, when I woke up, I noticed Sayori wasn't there. I get up and looked for her all around her house, but for some reason, I can't find her. I sit down on the couch in the living room.

_Weird for her to leave and not tell me where she is going. So where is she possibly at? Am I just dreaming again of somet-_

My thoughts are interrupted when I suddenly fall into the couch followed by cute giggling. "Sayori?" I look around and see Sayori on top of me in our school uniform.

"I thought it would be funny to mess with you a little bit, but I can't stop laughing." She said. Honestly, I wouldn't mind this every morning.

_You mean her being on top of you? Perv._

No! Seeing her happy every morning! Where the hell is your head at?

_My bad. While this is nice to see and hear, you need to check the time._

I look over and see that it's 6 AM. More than an our before we have to be at school. "So what are you doing up so early?" I ask.

"I should ask you the same thing." She replied.

"I wanted to get up so I can see you." I respond. She only giggles a bit more.

"Really? Are you reading my mind or is it just a coincidence that I was thinking the same thing?" She asks.

"How about this? Do you ever stop being so cute or is this just a dream?"

She gets lower to my face. "Does this answer your question?" She then kisses me. It suprises me to see her so bold and assertive like this, but I'm not complaining.

"Yep. This is real." I wrap my arms around her and we continue to kiss. Not a bad way to start the day. Only makes me want it to end faster so I can spend more time with her.

"Oh my God." We both stop and look at the doorway when we heard that familiar voice. We must have never been so scared than right now.

"Monika? Kyle?" I ask. They were both standing in the doorway, looking at us with shocked eyes. "What are you doing here this early?"

"We were going to come ask how things were doing and talk to you both, but looks like that's not needed." Monika answered.

"Talk to us about what?" Sayori asks. Kyle speaks up.

"We were going to convince you too to go on a date and we were going to ask Natsuki and Yuri where a good place would be, but we didn't know you too were-"

"It's not what it looks like!" I interrupt. They both laugh.

"Geez Sebastian. We weren't going to say that, but you brought it upon yourself." He replied. "When were you going to tell us?"

Me and Sayori look at each other. "We were going to wait a while longer." Sayori answers.

"You know we can all tell you two liked each other? Even Natsuki and Yuri." Monika saids.

"Well, looks like we don't have to worry about that." I tell her. I grab her hands and interlock them into mine. "After all, I wouldn't have mind if we did tell them today. That won't change how I feel."

She looks up at me with a bright smile. "If you say so Sebastian." She proceeds to hug me, which I follow suit. A part of me feels guilty for making everyone know that I like her and she didn't do that. Does that make me selfish?

**_Depends on how you look at it. After all, look at you past. It surely will reflect on your relationship._ **

That voice...why now? Why do I hear it now out of all things?

**_Sebastian, do you really think you are going to get away with this? Stealing what's valuable of ours? We need the Third Eye, and we can't have it until we have you._ **

_No, I won't let you corrupt my thoughts. The Third Eye is not real. Hell, this world isn't real!_

**_It is real! You feel your heart beating? That girl you hold in your arms?! It would be a shame to see her hurt!_ **

_Get out of my head._

_**Give us The Third Eye! Bring yourself to us!** _

_Get out of my head!_

**_If you don't give us the Third Eye, we may have to get that little "bundle of sunshine" and put it out!_ **

_GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HEAD!!!!_

"Sebastian, your shaking. Is something wrong?" Sayori asks. I had totally forgot that I was still hugging her. I back away slowly.

"I-I'm fine. We better head to school." Before they have a chance to respond, I grab my bag and leave the house. Confused, they follow suit. I stay silent and ahead for most of the time until we get closer to the school, which I slow down.

When we get there, everyone parts their ways except for Sayori. I look at her to see she has troubled eyes. I get close to her. "Is everything alright?" She shakes her head.

"Is everything alright with you? I couldn't hear you, but you were mumbling soemthingunder your breath at the house. Something like 'Get out of my head'. What is going on?"

I pull her close to me, not caring for what people think. For I care, everyone staring can go fuck themselves. "I'll tell you about it when we get home. Okay?" She nods. I kiss her and see her walk off, looking somewhat relaxed.

* * *

I can't think straight. All of the people staring at me, whispering about me. All it is doing is making me pissed off. Why is this happening today, when I'm suppose to feel great? I'm in a relationship now and I lo- like her.

Even though I'm still in class, it ends in a few minutes, so I walk out without asking. Thankfully, the teacher doesn't care about what I do. I walk to the bathroom and try to wash off my face, calm myself down.

I stare at myself in the mirror. I can't help but feel as if I had changed a little bit over the weeks. My eyes are still yellow, but I can see a tiny hint of crimson red in them. After having that appearance for a while, I get used to seeing details like that.

That's not the only thing I noticed. I'm still getting worst and worst. My hair seems to have changed a different type of color, as if almost losing some of its blackness. I can also see the getting a bit shorter, but not noticeable except for me.

_Am I changing because of my behavior? I notice some of this wasn't until yesterday. I haven't been able to release the beast of my past self ever since-_

Before I can finish my thought, my phone rings. I figured it would be Sayori, but it was a blocked number. I answer it. "Hello?"

"Do you think you can put us away and not expect us to get out?" A familiar female voice said. I am instantly filled with pure rage and hatred.

"You two. How the hell did you get out of prison?" I ask Kyle's mother, Elyssa. She laughs by my question.

"Do you think it was difficult? We have been getting out of problems for so long, it's just status quo." She said as if she was a poet. It only pisses me off more.

"Is it status quo for you to cause problems, mainly mr torturing your own damn son because you were such pieces of shit that you have to abandon your own FUCKING KID!?" My anger is through the roof.

"Well, that sounds like his problem. You did us a favor though. You made his life a living hell for us, but now we have to make your life a living hell as well. How about we pay Sayori a visit one day?" Kyle's father, Ishiro, asks.

"You touch her, I'll put you 6 feet under. You will never get near her for as long as I live. To prove that, I'm going to hunt you down and kill you, TODAY!" I scream out.

"Good luck." They start to laugh manically. Their laughs echo through my head until I can't bear the anger anymore. I put down my phone and stare at myself. I remember my thought through all of this: _haven't been able to release the beast of my past self ever since Kyle's parents arrived._

_I'm the reason for all of this. Her life in my hands because of my love for her. WHY CAN'T THINGS JUST BE GOOD FOR ME!?!?_

Without a second thought, I punch the mirror multiple times until it physically can't shatter anymore. I look at it and see multiple reflections of myself. My past, evil self with those damn crimson eyes.

One more time will I hopefully have to use this. I notice on my phone it's a lunch period. I decided to text Sayori to let her know that I won't be around until the club.

_Sayori: what's wrong? Everything okay?_

_Me: Yeah, just have things that I need to say but I just can't tell you about. Not because I don't want to, but it's something you shouldn't hear._

_Sayori: If that's the case, go to church and talk about them. That's a place where no one will judge you._

_Me: Okay, I'll try that. See you soon. Love you! <3_

_Sayori: Love you more._

_Church then? I guess it wouldn't be such a bad thing to try._

I grab my bag from the class and walk out the school. Please let this work.


	16. Getting Rid Of Demons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is murder in this chapter. You have been warned. Why? Just in case the title wasn't obvious enough.

Maybe she is right and I just need some way to vent out my worries. Honestly, I really don't know why I am. I already know what this world is like anyways, but maybe I should try to believe in something.

I have got closer to Sayori more than I have ever imagined, but now it is about to be lost because of my "creators." Even though I was made up by Kyle, his parents brought me to existence because of how shitty they are. And they are the reason why I was so evil.

I wonder what Kyle is doing with Monika right now. I know he is still having some problems still, even though I don't exist in his mind. What a weird way for me to be free. It's a different feeling to know that my way of being free to make something of myself is to tear myself away from him.

Before I know it, I have made my way to a church. I really don't pay attention what the name is as I walk in. Figures there is no one is here in the middle of a Friday day. I feel uneasy as I made my way up to the front.

  _Is this what people do? They pray to what they believe in so they can feel some relief? I don't know how well this will work for me._

I get to the front and get on my knees. I look up at the huge cross with Jesus on it. "What should I start with?" I take a few moments to collect my thoughts and begin to speak.

"God, I don't know you well. I don't even know if you are real. If I'm being honest here, it's hard to find anything real anymore since my creation. I try so hard to feel like it is, but it gets more difficult every day.

"And that is not the only thing that I have to worry about. I suffer from the same problems that Kyle does, but in different circumstances. Mine come from the fact that I was freed into a world that has no mercy, like I showed Kyle for most of his life.

"I have known him for as long as Sayori has. I never wanted to hurt Kyle like I did, but I was forced into it. At least he had Sayori. That girl has something special about her that makes love her so much. But now something is close to separating us for good.

I wish that he wouldn't feel the pain he does feel now, but I can't help that. I want us both to be free from this Hell that we have to endure every single day. I don't care what price I have to pay. Please...help me."

I feel tears go down my face. I never knew how much pressure I have held onto until now. I just want the best for everyone. Why can't I just have that? I will do anything to make sure that my friends are happy. Anything...please.

  _I'm sorry you have to feel the way you do. But in every story, no matter how happy or sad it is, there is always a loss, a death that occurs. Whether it is an actual death or the way they were is dead and something else is born, there is death. You know who what you have to do to make sure Sayori and you are safe. Do what had to be done to rid your worries about Kyle and Sayori._

"..."

"..."

"I will do it without a second thought. They will meet their end." I reply.

* * *

I figured out what the place was that they called me from. Even though I know where they are, I have no way to attack them.

_Have you checked your bag? Throughly?_

I look through the bag once more, reaching deeper until I feel something metallic. I pull it out to reveal a knife with a reasonable sized blade with a skull on the handle. I look down to see another metallic item. I pull that out to see...Kyle's gun. The same one he tried to kill himself with.

"The one thing that almost took his life is the one thing I'll take their lives with." I put it behind my back and put my shirt over it so it's not seen. I take the knife and put it in a sheath on my side. "Now it's time to find you two."

It takes me nearly 40 minutes to find them, but I do. Figures they would be held up in a shanty house, but it's more suitable to kill them here. Gun and knife in hand, I kick open the door, flashing the gun to all directions inside. No one.

I pocket the gun and hold the knife close to me. As I make my way pass a bathroom door, I'm attacked by Ishiro. He puts his arm to my throat and pushes me into a wall, choking me. I see Elyssa coming at me with a huge butcher knife.

Having fast thinking, I cut his arm, making him let go to me. As soon as Elyssa is about to stab me, I throw Ishiro into her.  She stabs him and immediately is filled with horror. I see she stabbed him in an area that he won't die instantly.

She looks back up to me, only to be greeted by my fist. As she falls to the ground, I take the gun out and fire upon her with no mercy. She lays there, dying fast. I kneel down to Ishiro, still bleeding out. I pull him close to me.

"Look at what you made me before." I change to my dark, evil side with my crimson eyes. "You made me a person of pure anger and hatred, making me take it out on my only friend. Now you must pay the only way I know how: your life."

I take the knife and plunge it deep into his heart. He flinches for a little bit, but I can see he is dead. I take it out and clean the blood off with a towel. I look at myself to see if there is blood on me. Luckily, there is not. Reverting back to myself, I see what I have done.

_I just murdered 2 horrible people that caused me and Kyle to suffer greatly. While I don't feel it at the moment, I'm sure Kyle is going to feel some relief._

That puts a smile on my face to know I may have helped with Kyle's depression. I'm not sure what I need to do to have that same feeling, but that will surely come with time. I look at the time on my phone. School is about to end, but when I get there, it should be time for the club to meet up.

It doesn't take me as long as it did before to make it back to the school. I have done his everything, so no one will expect a thing. Before I enter the school, I remember I still need to write a poem. I sit down in a table outside and think back to hoe life had been going for me.

After a few minutes, I finally finish a poem called:

_Valley Of Light_

_My past has been one of many evil doings_  
_Only for it to finally be freed._  
_Never has the Sun been more pure than now_  
_Shining light in my darkness she never seen._

 _I never thought I would have such feelings_  
_Until the Sun showed me a brand new way._  
_I fear that this feeling will start fading_  
_So I hold onto it each and every day._

 _Forgiveness is such a strong yet hard thing_  
_Lurking in the darkness has been my life._  
_She seen a light in me I never knew lived_  
_So she took it and loved it with her life._

 _All around me is a valley of light_  
_That surrounds me like a hand with a glove._  
_I will do all I can to see it thrive_  
_Using all of my lost ethereal love._

Honestly, I never thought of myself to be a poet, but I love how this turned out. I put it in my bag and head inside the club. Luckily, the club will be starting now.

I enter inside the clubroom, automatically catching everyone's attention. Moniks and Kyle were having a discussion about something; Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri were chatting about something that she seemed really glad about. Sayori looks at me, changing her expression.

_I don't think I can keep this hidden in the dark anymore._

I walk towards her while she speaks to me. "Sebastian, where were you all day? Do you know how-" Her sentence is cut off as I pull her close to me and kiss her. She seemed shock about it at first, but quickly accepts it. After a few moments, I break away, only to have everyone shocked. "You know something? I was about to tell them about us."

"I know, but something happened to me that made me think about you. I didn't want to hide how much I love you and I never will." I explained. Today was so stressful and scary. I could have possibly lost more than just my life, but the only thing that brings me life. I never want to lose something so precious like Sayori.

"Wow! Pretty bold of you Sebastian!" Natsuki said in a teasing tone. I roll my eyes, as I would expect anything less from her. I suddenly get an idea.

"Can everyone sit down for a moment? There is something I wanted to share with you all." They all sit down facing me in the front of the class. "On the way here, I wrote a poem for something that is sincere about my life."

I take the poem out, but I turn it over, as I don't need to see the words on it, but only the emotion behind it. "This poem is called:  _Valley Of Light._ I then recite the peom, the words speaking more bolder emotions than I ever imagined. When you have something so good in front of you, you will fight for it with everything you ever had and more. Sayori and the rest of the club is what I'll fight for till the day I die.

I finally finish, leaving them in complete silence as I look at their shocked, stunned, yet suprise faces. Sayori is the first to start clapping, only for the rest to follow suit. "Sebastian, where did that come from?" Monika asks.

"I have had a lot of inspiration the past 2 weeks that I needed to express. You guys have had such a impact on my life that I would have never thought possible, so that was my 'thank you.'" I explain.

The rest of today was nothing but joy, with Sayori by my side. Funny enough, me and Sayori got recommended a place to have a date. Nothing too fancy, but it is a nice place to take her. Looking and being with Sayori is the best thing I have ever had, and I won't let that fade away for one bit. Nothing in my life is worth more than hers, so I will do everything to make sure we have a happy ending.


	17. "I AM REAL"

I look at myself in the mirror in the restaurant bathroom. I'm so nervous right now. I've never been on a date, let alone with friends with us. The rest of the club decided they wanted to join in on the fun, so they came with me and Sayori. I can't calm down.

_**That's not you Sebastian. It's the Third Eye corrupting your mind. Soon, that will be the only thing you dream, see, think and fear.** _

_What the hell even is it? I found that report and it was just something that was being tested on a little girl. Your a bunch of sick fucks for torturing someone innocent and young for the benefit of science._

**_When it comes to science, lives must be sacrificed so we can achieve what we want. Finding candidates for such an experiment is very difficult. We thought Libitina would be able to handle it, but it seems she fell underneath it. It seems like she hid it in a dark void, which you were in, so it chose you because of that. You finally being free means we must have it so we can continue with the project._ **

_Go to hell! Your not real and neither is the Third Eye! The fact that your talking in my head only proves it. Your just a past reminder of myself trying to get out. It's not going to happen._

The voice goes silent. I look at myself and take a deep breath. "You got this." I exit and look at the table that all my friends are sitting at. Seeing Sayori in a such a beautiful black dress is something I would never expect Sayori to wear. It makes me happy to know that I'm with her. Needless to say, it was one of the best days of my life. I definitely needed this after yesterday.

_Thinking about yesterday, would Kyle even figure out that I did that? I haven't seen on the news that the police found anyone dead. I even called the cops anonymously, so I wouldn't be tracked. Should I check and see if there are any police there?_

I look over at Sayori, who is chatting with Monika in her house. After the date, Monika suggested that we stay at her place for a bit since her parents are out of town. Kyle and Natsuki are talking about something related to manga, and Yuri... where is she?

"Sebastian, see you okay?" I nearly jump out of my skin as Yuri appeared right behind me. "S-sorry if I scared you. You were spacing out."

"I-it's fine. I need to go check something around town. I'll be back." I start to leave when she taps on my shoulder.

"Do you mind if I can come with you? To provide company? I don't really have anything else better to do." She asks. It wouldn't hurt, but It is kind of dangerous.

_Why would I think it would be dangerous? Their dead, so I have nothing to worry about._

_"_ Yeah sure. Just tell Monika we'll be back."  Shr nods and walks over to Monika. Monika nods and Yuri walks back to me and we leave the house.

We start to make our way back to the street. "If you don't mind me asking, where are we going?"

"We're just checking out some house that I saw. Hopefully it's still available." I tell her. Yuri and I continue to walk in silence. I finally decided to speak up. "Yuri, have you ever heard of the Third Eye?"

She looks at me with an unusual expression. "Why do you ask?"

"It's just something I have been hearing about." I say. Something about her expression make it seem like I mentioned something that makes her uncomfortable.

"I have in one of my books. It involves around this experiment around a group of individuals that escape this science experiment prison. While they are out, they have a hard time gaining trust and most of their relationships crumble end."

Hearing this sends chills down my spine. It has to be fake. There is no way something this "crude" could exist. "I-is something wrong?" Yuri asks. I shake my head and continue to walk in silence.

We get there at the house, but something is wrong. The front door is open, yet there are no caution tape around here. There's not even footprints or tire trails anywhere. The front door was closed and locked when I left here.

"Stay here." I tell her. I creep in front of the door. Doesn't look like anything has moved or I'd put of place. I enter and without Yuri seeing, I pull out the gun I have in my bag. I look around and see blood splattered everywhere in the bedroom wall.

_Why is that there? They died in the living room? Speaking of which, where are they?_

Their bodies are not where they were left. This is not right. I enter the bedroom, instantly regretting the fact I even thought about leaving Monika's house.

The bodies are here, but their hanging from the ceiling. Their eyes are cut out of their skulls. Behind them is a eye, painted in blood. Underneath it is a sentence: "I AM REAL".

Horrified, I leave without causing suspicion. "Nothing worth looking here. Let's go." I had hidden the gun back in my bag and now I'm walking back to Monika's house with Yuri. I will never be able to get that sight out of my head.

"I AM REAL?" Who would write that in blood? Better yet, why did they decide to hang dead corpses and cut out their eyes?

"Is everything alright? You have been so silent since we left." Yuri asks.

"It's nothing important. Don't worry  I'll be better tomorrow." I said. Honestly, I don't know if it will be better tomorrow. Does this mean that it is real, except now it's actually  _real_? Is it a person or was that something I imagined? Time will only tell.


	18. Meaning Of True Happiness

The night was horrible. I kept having a constant nightmare about what I had saw at their house. The phrase "I AM REAL" is etched inside my head. No matter what, I can't stop seeing that damn thing.

_**You shouldn't have tried to stop me. You can't stop what is real.** _

That voice...its not the same one that I hear all the time. Its deeper, darker, more sinister sounding, almost like a demon.

_**You read the report, yet you think you could hold me back. How can you hold something back that is powerful as God?** _

_How can you be real if this reality isn't real? All of this is part of a story._

**_I exist in any reality. Doesn't matter if it's digital, written, or real. When I'm mentioned, I will appear._ **

_What do you want from me? Your free as you said._

**_I'm still held back because of you. I'm just starting to carve myself into you. If I can't be free, I will become you._ **

_No. NO! I WON'T LET YOU!!_

**_You won't have a choice. It's already starting to happen. Now time to wake up._ **

I wake up, shivering. Why am I so cold? It's so warm around me, but I feel as if I just came out of a frozen hell. I sit up to realize that I'm outside of Monika's house. Just what happened here?

I enter and see everyone fast asleep. The T.V is on still. I sit down without making too much noise and flick it to the news. The newscaster is explaining a murder that had happen recently. I instantly noticed the scene they are reporting at.

"The two victims are recently escaped convicts Ishiro and Elyssa, no last name. Elyssa was apparently shot several times, while it seems like Ishiro was stabbed by Elyssa and finished off by another person. However, there will be no ongoing investigation since they have had many bad ties with various drug dealers, so it's passed on as a gang affiliation murder."

_So they weren't hanged like I saw. It really was all in my head. I wondered why Yuri wasn't freaking out by the sight of blood like I saw. I won't be searched for, so I have nothing to worry about. Am I...going insane?_

I am startled by footsteps coming from the kitchen. It was Monika coming out of the kitchen. I instantly shield my eyes. "Jesus Monika, why don't you put on some clothes?" She suddenly noticed she was wearing only a green bra and panties.

"I-I didn't know you were awake. I thought everyone was still asleep." She said. She rushed upstairs and came down in more appropriate clothes. She is wearing her casual outfit, something I only saw once: the night she was assaulted.

I decided to fix myself some coffee. I'm hoping that there is anything that can get my mind off of what has happened in less than 12 hours. Nothing is working, so I ended up walking outside in the back.

Her house is so big and beautiful. I sit at a table, just staring off into the distance. I noticed Monika came outside with me. "Sebastian, is everything alright? You were so quiet and you sat outside all night, staring at nothing."

"At least that explains why I was outside when I woke up." I sigh. "I don't even know what is wrong with me. It seems like things may be getting worst for me. Maybe tomorrow everything will be better."

"Okay. I just want you to know that we are here for you." She said. I sigh and look at her.

"Can I ask you something?" She nods. "Do you notice anything changed about me, physically?" She looks around me and at my face.

"Your hair is looking less darker than before. It looks like a shade of dark drown for some parts. Your eyes still looking bright yellow as they did 3 weeks ago. Beside that, nothing much has changed."

At least it's nothing bad. I'm happy that I still look the same as before. Sayori soon comes out the back door and looks at us. She flashes a big smile before coming to sit beside me.

"Looks like you are better now than last night. Honestly, I was getting worried about you. We didn't know what was wrong with you." She said, laying her head on my arm.

_So its definitely not a secret that something happened to me. I can't tell them about how I basically murdered two people, especially Kyle's parents. I did what I had to do._

I hug her. "I'm alright. Don't worry about me honey. Everything is fine now." She chuckled a little.

"You called me 'honey.' That sounds nice." I grin, even though she can't see me doing it. "You want to head home?" She asks.

"Sure. If you want to." I reply. She gets up and tells everyone goodbye. I do the same and we walk back home. On the way there, she was giggling about something. Every time I would ask her why she was, she would tell me to wait till we get home. What is she planning?

When we went inside, she turned to me. "I honestly can't hold my excitement anymore." Beofre I have a chance to do anything, she pushes me into the couch. I suddenly realize what she means by excitement.

I sit up as she gets on top of me, kissing me. Her sweet taste gets me addicted everytime our lips meet. Her soft, smooth skin only adds to the addiction. I wrap my arms around her to bring her closer to me. We stop for a second as I look at her.

_Seeing that pink shirt on her is irritating me for some reason. I just want to tear it off._

I proceed to grab the hem of her shrit and as if she read my mind, she lifted her arms up as I take the shirt off her to reveal her blue bra. Seeing her this "exposed" is something completely different to me.

She giggles shyly, only making her appear more cute. I wrap my arms around her again to pull her half naked body close to mine. This feeling is like sweet ecstasy and I want more. I take my shirt off and luckily, those past scars are almost fully healed.

We continue like this for a while. I know me and her had never done this before, so I can only imagine what it is she wants. As if she read my mind, she whispers in my ear. "Follow me." She gets up and quickly runs up to her room. I follow behind quickly.

When I get up there, I see her removing her denim shorts. Following suit, I remove my pants. She gets up on her bed while I get on top. Such a beautiful woman that I'm with right now.

I kiss her neck, making her moan contently. I go down more and more until I reach her stomach. I go up to her and kiss her again. While I am, I notice her reaching around her back. Next thing I know, I see her slip the bra off herself.

I proceed to slip off my last piece of clothing as she slips off her panties. She suddenly pulls me in close and puts me on my back. She gets on top, letting out a satisfied moan.  _Gulp._

_And that's all I'm letting you see. What? Your pissed because I'm not writing out everything that happened next? Or are you suprised that I'm talking to you? Yeah, YOU. Well, the tag said Implied Sexual Content. If I wanted to write out a full sex scene,  I would have put Eventual Smut instead._

_So now, your going to the part where they talk after they had finished half an hour ago. Trust me, they lasted longer than that. I would be disappointed with Sebastian if that was the case._

* * *

 I cant help but to look at Sayori and smile. I never felt so happy before. She seemed to have enjoyed it, so I hope she is happy. Her smile is reassuring in that sense.

"That felt amazing Sebastian." She said, giggling. "Thank you." I pull her closer to me.

"No, thank you. You have made the 3 weeks I've been here so worth it. I couldn't have asked for anything better than you." I said. We just held each other in our arms, kissing and laughing.

After about an hour, she gets up and heads to the shower. I get and put on some of my own clothes. I look at myself in the mirror and notice a huge change. The crimson that took some of my eyes have now faded, so I see is my yellow eyes. My hair is close to losing it's blackness, so now all I see is dark brown.

If that has happen, maybe that means the voices that try to corrupt me will soon start to fade out of existence. Maybe this time, I will actually find happiness. I smile ever so brightly, because now there will be some happiness and joy without negativity in my life.

 


	19. Met With A Terrible Fate

It's Monday, the next day. Sayori made a lovely breakfast and was exceptionally happy and cheerful. I wouldn't lie to say I was the same way. We are making our way to school, holding hands.

"Hey Kyle, your hair is changed in a way. Is it changing color?" She asks. I smile and flick my hair around, messing it up. She giggles at my silly gesture.

"Yeah, it's changing to a dark drown. Never thought it would, but now I won't have to have such a disturbed hair color. Well, now it's all messed up." I say.

"Don't worry. Here, hold on a second." She takes her hands and shuffles them around in her hair for a few seconds until it's messed as well. I can't help but to smile so I can stop myself from laughing.

_Sayori, you're being too cute right now. It's only the morning._

I take her hand and we continue to make our way to school. When we get there, we walk by several students. One of them is someone I instantly recognize: Henry, the kid I put into a coma. I guess he got out of it.

He is talking to a group of other students who is also familiar: Randy and his gang. They all look at me. As soon as they see me, they turn and continue talking. I don't think Sayori noticed, so that's good. Only problem is, what do I do now?

The rest of the day until my last class, I see them gather more and more kids. I see at least 10 to 15 Henry has with them. I don't like what may happen.

I stare at the clock in the classroom. 3 more minutes and I won't have much to worry about. I suddenly feel something hit the back of my head. It must be those 2 assholes laughing in the back. Another one. I see Kyle peering over his shoulder to see who it is.

_One more minute. Just calm down Sebastian._

They keep hitting me in the head with something. I don't care. I can feel my anger starting to revert back what I had worked so hard to get rid of. I can feel myself starting to develop the crimson in my eyes.

Finally, the bell ring and Kyle gets me out of the room and as far away as he can. I just want to destory these kids. "Let...go...of...me!" I demand.

"I can't let that happen. I know what you will do." He takes me to the bathroom so I can catch my air.

_**Your starting to slip. You are just a weapon of destruction; a perfect specimen to take a hold of and morph into.** _

_Get out of my head. I will stay strong._

**_Just how much are you going to fight until you give up? When you die? Till you lose all purpose to live so you take your own life? I will be free either way._ **

_If anyone knows anything about tricking someone to doing something, it's me. I have been doing it for all my life till now. Your words don't mean a damn thing to me, so get out!_

I look up to see my eyes are back to the way they were. It's so much to deal with: the voices, the visions, the dreams. I may end up dying from the stress of it all. 

"Kyle, why is this happening to me? Why am I having to suffer the way I am? Why did this happen to me?" I ask. He doesn't understand my question.

"What do you mean? Nothing is happening to you." He saids. I shake my head. I'm going to have to tell him the truth of my sins.

"You don't understand.  ~~I killed your parents.~~  I just want everyone to be happy, but it is really difficult."

_Why didn't I say that? It seems like I was prevented to tell him._

~~Why is this a story?~~  Why does everything have to hurt?  ~~I should just die so the pain will stop.~~ Nothing is helping me." 

_Let me say what I want to! I'm going insane with no one to tell my pain and problems._

I start to cry. I just wish the pain will end, but nothing never end for me. Kyle turns me around and hugs me. I just want the pain and suffering to end. I feel like there may be no tomorrow for me.

"Sebastian, I'm here for you, so don't worry. Whatever is hurting, we'll figure it out together. That's what friends are for." He let's go of me and I stop crying. 

"So, you ready for the club?" I ask. Kyle nods and we make our way to the club. I can't understand why he is so willing to help me out. It feels nice either way and I'm not complaining.

_**They are coming for you Sebastian. What are you going to do against a large group of popular kids?** _

I keep glancing over my shoulder, checking behind me to see if it's right. I know there is no one else here except for club members of various clubs.

Luckily, we enter the clubroom and I spot Sayori. She smiles brightly at me. Seeing her makes me feel a bit at ease. I walk up to her and hug her. I'm so afraid and I don't know why.

I let go and sit beside her. I see Natsuki and Yuri reading a book together, holding each others hands. Monika and Kyle are doing paperwork until she gets up and tells the club she'll be back.

"Oh yeah, a poem. We totally forgot to write one last night." I said as I hold her by my side. I can see her blushing. "I'll leave you alone for now. I'm going to write my own." I go to my desk and take out a piece of paper and pen.

_What should I write about? I guess I can write about how much the club has impacted me with support._

**_Or you let ME write and see how much control and influence I have over you._ **

Suddenly, I start to write something down. I can't control my hand or what I'm doing. It seems as if I have lost control over myself.

_**You will soon be reborn and I will take over. Your sanity is crumbling under the pressure. The pain will never stop until I am one again.** _

After a few moments, I have control of my hand and my body. I look at the text. I don't even know what this is.

_VGhlIFRoaXJkIEV5ZQ0KDQpJIGNhbid0IHN0b3AgdGhpcyBmZWVsaW5nIGFzIEkga25vdyBldmVyeXRoaW5nIGlzIG5vdCByZWFsLiBXaHkgY2FuJ3QgSSBzdG9wIHRoaXMgcGFpbj8gSSBhbHJlYWR5IGtub3cgdGhlIGFuc3dlciwgYnV0IEkgY2FuJ3QgZmF0aG9tIGl0LiBUaGUgZHJlYW1zIGFyZSBiZWNvbWluZyBtb3JlIG9mIGEgcmVhbGl0eSB0byBtZS4gVGhlIFRoaXJkIEV5ZSBpcyBkcmF3aW5nIG1lIGNsb3NlciB0byB0aGUgYnJpbmsgb2YgaW5zYW5pdHkuIFdoZW4gaXQgZG9lcywgSSB3aWxsIGJlIHJlYm9yb_

After a few seconds, I see it form words into a paragraph. I am absolutely horrified by what I see.

_The Third Eye_

_I can't stop this feeling as I know everything is not real. Why can't I stop this pain? I already know the answer, but I can't fathom it. The dreams are becoming more of a reality to me. The Third Eye is drawing me closer to the brink of insanity. When it does, I will be reborn._  
_Help me. Help me. HELP ME!_

* * *

 

_No, this can't be. Leave me alone! Get out of my head!!_

Without Sayori looking or anyone else, I exit as fast and silent as I can. I start to bolt down the hallways leading up to the roof. I stop before I walk through the door and text Kyle to let him know I'm up here and not to come.

I walk through and put my hands over my head. "AAAAAAaaaaaahhhHHHH!!!!!" I scream as loud and long as I can. What will it take just for me to be happy for once? 

"What's the matter? Screaming already and we haven't even started." I hear a voice say behind me. I slowly turn around me to see Randy and Henry with a considerable amount of kids behind them. I see at least 10 behind them.

"Think that will stop me? It's not like you both got in my way before, and you all fell to my hands." I say. The kids behind them start to pull out sever things: knives, bats, pipes.

"You stopped us before, but now there is no way to escape us now. This is your end." Randy said.

I start to feel out of character, like I'm not even myself. I start to chuckle, then laugh audibly, then it turns sinister and dark. They all look at me with a confused look until they see my eyes, which have turned crimson red.

"You. Can't. STOP! ME!!" A kid runs towards me with a knife, only to fall by one punch to the face. I start to walk towards Randy and Henry slowly as more kids start to run towards me. One by one, they easily fell to me. Some of them, I took their weapons and used it against them.

Randy ran towards me with the knife, somehow managing to cut my face. This only adds to my anger as I grab him and headbutt him and throw him to the side. "Now it's just you and me." He grabs onto a baseball bat and tries to swing it at me. I grab it, but I didn't recognize he had a knife on him as well.

He proceeds to stab me once, but not deep enough to hurt me. I honestly think he didn't even go far at all. I take the best and snap it in my hands. I grab onto his shirt and punch him a few times, but not hard enough to knock him out. I pull him close to me, because there is some words I need to stay.

"You motherfucker! Look at what you made me do. I had finally tried so hard to not use this, but now you caused this to me. You were never going to stop me that night and honestly, you should've died. You were lucky wmyou were in a coma, but now you have a worst fate than death: ME! So, do you have anything else to say before you meet your fate!?"

He looks at me and chuckles. "Your lucky that you where there to save Monika that night. If you didn't, we would have fucked her pure, hot body raw. Such innocence ruined."

"You fucking sick freak!" I punch him once more, this time enough to deliver a knockout blow. I throw him to the side when I notice Kyle and Sayori at the front doors. I walk over to the ledge, preparing to do what is needed so they won't have to suffer.

"What the hell happened Sebastian?" He asks.

"Most of these kids where going to kidnap Monika that night. The others were just going to try to beat the hell out of me. Even with knives, they can't kill me." 

"What is wrong with you? What was that paper about?" He asks.

I look down. "Isn't it obvious? I think I finally lost it. My life is just being wrote in for no reason. Anytime I find happiness, there is always something dark to shut it down. My thoughts are corrupted by The Third Eye. Nothing can help me."

_I think this is it. I have to explain everything that has happened so they will realize what I'm about to do to protect them from me._

"We can help you Sebastian. Just let us, please." Sayori pleads. "You know that we care about you. You know that I love you."

I flash her a weak smile. "I love you too, but I can't make you suffer as well. You already fought depression and won." As I continue to talk, the rest of the club comes up as well. "I can't get rid of mine. Kyle, do you still have depression?"

"Not recently have I had any depressing thoughts. I don't know why."

_So what I did got rid of his depression. Just got to get rid of the source, but that means tmit should have ended for me. So there is no way for me to have true happiness._

"Simple. I got rid of the one thing that birth your depression. Your parents." He looks at me with a shocked face because he knows what I mean. "There is only one way that I can get rid of mine. End myself."

"No Sebastian. Don't do that. There has to be another way." Sayori said in a hurry. "Don't think that. Please." I walk up and brush her bangs to the side. How can someone like her continue to fight for me?

"Such a bundle of sunshine trying to light up infinite darkness. Your an angel, but I'm the equivalent to the Devil. There is nothing that can help me."

Sayori looks like she is on the verge of tears. She gives me a big hug. "I don't want to lose you. I got to know you so well the past few weeks. Not only that, I got the chance to love you. Please don't do that."

She is now crying. I hate seeing her cry, especially when she doesn't deserve to feel this type of pain. But the fact she cares so much for me makes me smile.

"Sayori, I loved you the first moment you walked into Kyle's house. Spending the time I have with you has been the greatest thing that has happen to me." I sigh. "I want us to be together forever, but I don't want to hurt you."

"If I was afraid of you hurting me, would you think I would do this?" Sayori asks me. Before I can answer, she kisses me, making my eyes brighten up. I quickly embraces it, wrapping my arms around her.

_How is it even right now, she has a way to shine light into my life? Maybe life is worth living, even though these thoughts are in my head, I can beat this._

**_Stop lying. You can't beat your fate out of yourself._ **

_Watch me. I will win and you will cease to exist._

**_YOU CAN'T GET RID OF ME!! YOU CAN'T GET RID IF YOUR PAST, FOR I AM WHAT YOU WRRE BEOFE!!!_ **

_That part of me is dead. So now, you will die off like that version of me has._

The voice goes silent."Sayori, do you really believe that this will end?" I ask. She nods with confidence. "Ok then. Maybe I can fight this off."

"I know you can. We will do it together." Yuri saids. The rest of us nod to this comment.

"Don't think this is over." We all turn and see Henry holding a gun. "You won't get away with this Sebastian. You stopped us once, but not again." He points the gun at him and tries to pull the trigger. It doesn't fire. "Why isn't this working?"

_There is no other way. If I don't stop him now, he will kill us all. I love you Sayori._

While he looks at his gun, I run towards him and tackle him off the buidling. Me and him fall, but I was lucky enough to use him to land on. We hit the ground and I start to fade in and out. Henry is dead for sure, but I think I'm dying as well.

I can hearthem calling my name, but I start to fade more and more. I can hear Sayori crying and her tears falling on me. I did what I had to do to make sure they were safe, but now I know that they are safe.

_Goodbye Literature Club. Goodbye Sayori. I love you all._

**_Great. Now we can begin._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next 3 chapters are going to revolve around what Sebastian saw in his coma to lead where he was when he woke up. I had originally thought about writing one long chapter about it, but that would take days. Hope you enjoy this tragedy.


	20. The Coma. Part 1

"..."

"..k. u.."

"...lo ..basti..."

".ake up"

"Sebastian, wake up."

I awaken in a white room on a bed. How did I get here? What happened to me to get here? I tried to remember what it was, but I can't remember anything.

I see a man standing beside my bed with a white coat and a clipboard. I sit up slowly. "W-where am I? Who are you?" I ask. The man appears to be writing something on the board.

I feel...different. Like a newfound feeling of power inside. I can't quite explain it because I don't remember a thing. I don't even know my name!

"S-sir, what's going on? What's my name?" I ask. He stops writing and looks at me. He sees that I'm serious and changes his expression.

"Excuse me for not answering your questions. I'm Dr. Henry Jekyll. Your name is Sebastian. You have been involved in an accident, but we were able to help you with something special. Unfortunately, we have to keep you here to help you remember it."

"For how long?" I ask.

"Depends on how long it takes. To fully help you out, you need to accept what we have given you." Jekyll saids.

"What about my life? I really think I forgot my memory about it." I explain. He takes a few minutes to think.

"As far as we can tell, you were suffering from depression for a long time, and we have reason to believe that you tried to take your life because of it. We tried to find any family or friends, but we just couldn't seem to find anything much about you."

That sounds a bit disheartening. It seems like I lived a life depressed and alone with no one to help me. Maybe with whatever they gave me, it can truly elevate me to be better.

"You said you gave me something. What is it called?" I ask. He looks down into his clipboard and back at me.

"It's a new experimental drug that we called 'The Third Eye.' It's different than anything you will ever see. With this, you can see reality in a new way." He leans his head out the door and calls for someone. Soon, more doctors come in. "Right now, we just need to run some tests to see how you respond to it. Does that sound alright?"

To be honest, I don't know much about myself or what I would have done, but if I want to remember who I was, I will do whatever it takes. "Y-yes." I said.

The doctors come up to me and help me up to my feet. They then escort me down a white corridor to another room. I see various doctors in different rooms, completing some task they were assigned. Soon, we reach another room.

They sit me down and they all stand around me. There is a ball lying on the table. Jekyll looks at me. "Pick it up but don't use your hands." I look at him with a confused look.

"How will I be able to pick it up without using my hands? That is kind of impossible, don't you think?" I ask.

He sighs and looks at me. "Try to imagine that you can pick it up. Trust me." I sigh and look at the ball. I try to imagine it being lifted off the table. It suddenly starts to swivel side to side before it start to literally starts levitating off the table.

"W-what? Am I dreaming?" I ask. Jekyll chuckles and walks up behind me and puts his hands on my shoulder.

"No, this is all real. The Third Eye has accepted you. You have something that people will kill to have: power of God."

I feel tired, so I slowly let it land on the table. "I don't think I ate anything." My stomach growls loudly. Jekyll orders one of them to get me something. 

"Your doing good Sebastian. The process is slow and it will take time, but you will be able to develop something that can shift the way of reality itself. I'm trusting you will do right by us as we will do you to help you." I nod.

He hands me a journal and pen from his pocket. He also hands me voice recorder. "I want you to use this to write down all the things you feel and see. I want to know what you think about so we can help you better. With the voice recorder, if you don't feel like writing, you can use this as well." I nod and take them.

After a few hours later, I decide to take out the journal and pen to write down some of my thoughts. I decide to write them out as days I'm here.

_Day 1_

_I don't know what happened before to have got me here, but all I know is that I was sad and lonely. I guess this happens to people often, but I never expect anything like this to happen. Dr. Jekyll said that I have been given a gift that most people desire of so that he can help me with my loss of memory._

_Whatever this Third Eye is, it's something incredible. I didn't know such power could ever exist. I lifted a ball off the table with my mind. Who would've thought that would be possible! He said that this newfound drug can change the way of reality. I don't think much about it now since it's my first day here, but I will do what is right by listening to Jekyll. I trust him to do right by me as I will by him._

I put the pen and journal down on my table in my room. I lay down and start to go to sleep when I get an idea. To see if this wasn't my imagination, I sit up and look at the pen. I stick out my arm and hand and focus on it. It suddenly is floating off the journal. I spin my hand around and it at makes it spin around in return. I chuckle by this and set it down and lay down myself. I soon fall asleep.

* * *

The next few weeks, I am tested on regularly. They check everything about me. They then test my strenght, emotion, and sensitivity levels. Jekyll said I passed all his test with flying colors. Today, they tested me on my emotional and physical responses and ability to control them. He said I did excellent even with the Third Eye activation and suppression tests.

When I got to my room, it looks completely different. I guessed because of how well and cooperative I am, they made my room look like it has color actually. It is nice, so I guess I'll write something down about all of this.

_Day 15_

_I like what they did with this room. Being tested on has been a bit difficult, but it is worth it in the end. That, I am sure of. I haven't been able to remember anything yet. I guess that will come to time. I think I am getting a better understanding of The Third Eye. To actually have something, it feels like I'm not lonely._

_They have been testing me with the ball experiment. I hope they are impressed by how well I am able to do it with ease now. Maybe they can make it with something more to help me understand where my limits are. I know things come slowly, but I do want to progress more._

With that, I put it down on the table and fall asleep. After several days later, I'm being tested on again. Me and Jekyll are walking side by side.

"You know Sebastian, I saw your notes you wrote down. I'm glad you are understanding, so that's why we are making it more difficult." We walk in and there is nothing on the table.

"What am I using as a test?" I ask. Jekyll chuckles a bit and walks next to the doctors in the room that are holding clipboards.

"This table is bolted down to the ground. We want you to be able to rip in right out the ground." He explains. I start to feel nervous. "Don't worry. I have faith in you Sebastian."

I slowly nod and extend out my arms and hands. I make a motion as I'm lifting it up off the ground as I focus on it. I can hear the bolts holding it start to give away. They suddenly break and it is floating halfway off the ground. I use one hand to make a spinning motion and the table spins slowly. The room is filled with applause with Jekyll smiling.

"I knew you could do it Sebastian." He said. With that, I put it down on the ground. "We'll get someone to fix that, but don't fret about that. I'm proud of you for such an accomplishment." I thank him for the compliment.

I got sent back to my room and then I started to write down about today.

_Day 20_

_I stepped up today from a tiny ball. I lifted a table up from the ground that was bolted into place. I guess there may be no limit to its strength, but I haven't figured out that yet for sure. Time will only tell what I may be able to do, see, or even feel. Things are constantly changing within me, but I guess I'm adapting to them as they come up._

_As for Dr. Jekyll, he is a strong motivator for me. At this point, I'm not sure if I should consider him a friend or not. I guess for now, I will consider him a worthy person I can trust._

I set the stuff down and start to walk to the bed when I stop. I lift my hand up while looking at the sheet and get into bed. I let it cover me as I stop focusing on it. Today was a very productive day.

* * *

 

I see someone. Someone young, a boy. He is talking to me, but I can't hear myself or think. He looks genuinely happy. Suddenly, I see his parents walk in, telling him something. He looks sad as they leave the room.

I awaken. "Did...did I just have a dream? Who was that?" Then Dr. Jekyll walks into the room. "Jekyll, I think I just had a dream." He was wearing a smile, but now he seems concerned.

"You did? What about?" He asks urgently as he sits in the chair away from my bed. He clicks his pen and starts writing what I say.

"There was me and this young boy. We were talking but I couldn't hear anything. All I saw was that he was happy until his parents walked into the room and said something. Then he looked sad as they left."

I don't know what to think. It's been nearly 42 days since I been here and now I suddenly have a dream and I can't understand it. "Does this mean I'm starting to remember?" I ask.

He looks down to his paper and I can feel he is confused. Wait...how can I feel that? He looks perfectly normal right now just scanning through papers on his clipboard. But I can feel it pulsating from his mind.

"Jekyll, are you confused about something?" I ask him. This time, he looks up to me.

"No. Why?" I ask. I can feel he is lying from the guilt I sense. Can I feel his emotions?

"Your lying. I can feel the fact that you are and I can feel your confused. It's pulsating out of you so much it's about to give me a headache." Jekyll looks suprised.

"How can you sense that? That is something that not even my closest employees can see, yet you feel it from me." He writes more stuff down on his paper. "Sebastian, it looks like your getting stronger with the Third Eye. I guess it took something like a dream to finally elevate you to the next process: sensing emotions.

Instead of doing our usual tests, he walked around and asked a few employees to look at me while I look back. I could feel each and every one of their emotions: confused, worried, sadness, neutral, happy and many more. Even more, I was able to tell them why they were the way they felt without them telling me.

This went on for many hours until I remember Jekyll never answered my question. As we were walking, I decided to ask. "Jekyll, you never answered my question before. Can you still tell me?" 

He looks at me and sighs, knowing I will tell if he is lying or not. "I didn't want to bring this up, but I don't have a choice now." I can feel the resentment he has for what he is about to say. "Your not the first person we used this drug on. There was a little girl named Libitina who was 3 we used this on." I can now feel the sorrow he has.

"We did the same types of experiments and tests we did on you, but because of her mental state after someone had died that she knew, it started to get worst for her. I wanted to stop, but the doctor that led the project didn't let us. She sooned died because of the constant pressures we had to put on her."

I can feel his anger and sadness for her. "Damn Hyde never saw the light of things. He just always wanted it for the money and the sense of creating something. He is leading this project too, but I convinced him to let me led it in a way I know success will occur."

When we get to my room, he sits in the chair and puts his hands over his face. "I hope to not see the same fate as many others. If we were to do anything that was not permitted, the person would die by order." He looks up to me. "I have confidence you will keep this a secret. After all, it's not something I like to bring up ever again." I nod and he walks out.

Instead of writing about today, I decided to speak with the voice recorder.

_Day 43: New Found Ability_

_I had a dream today that is unusual to explain, let alone talk about. Because of this dream, Dr. Jekyll believes this dream has cause a progression with the Third Eye. Now, I can sense people's emotions without much trouble. There is one question I have left on my mind: what will come up to my near future?_

I shut it off and go to bed. Now, I can only wonder what may happen in my future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters are going to be long. To me, this is my way of perceiving The Third Eye. If you didn't know, Sebastian is now in a coma and this is his coma dream, but in a way, it's actually happening. You'll see more when we get there.
> 
> P.S: I'm using Jekyll and Hyde as a reference to how the doctors are with Sebastian. Jekyll clearly know how to make sure the project goes well without a repeat with Libitina. Hyde is greedy and wants to have results fast. This is going to cause altercations in the future.


	21. The Coma Part 2: Project Libitina 2.0

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is going to be the absolute longest chapter I had ever wrote. By the end if you confused, I will explain it at the end.

_Day 135_

_It has been gradually slow for the past few months. I rarely have few dreams, but when I do, they're so vivid and hard to understand. It's always about the same kid but in a different scenario. He always seems happy until his parents arrive and leave._

_My power of the Third Eye is increasing every day. Even if it is slow, it is increasing. If only I knew what causes it to increase faster, maybe it would help with my memories._

_Some of the staff had been asking me why I never ask to see the outside world. If I am honest with myself, I don't know want to go outside to see if anyone is out there that may notice me and I don't notice them. Plus, if I was depressed and lonely, why would I go out there to suffer from it again?_

I turn off the recorder and go out to the room we have been testing in for the past month since my old testing room was getting too small for the things we started to do. Jekyll met me outside with a smile. I can sense he is neutral, but I'll accept it anyway.

"So Sebastian, how has your memories been coming around?" He ask. I look at him with an obvious look. "Yeah, nevermind." He keeps walking on as I follow.

_I do at least want to know what the world is like as it was before._

"Hey Jekyll, do you mind if I ask you something?" He nods. "What is life out there? Has much changed since I have awoken?" He swallows and I can feel a sense like that was something I shouldn't have asked or something he wasn't expecting to answer.

"You know something? It has, but honestly not for the better." He answers. I don't pressure on because I feel I may not like the answer. Soon, we reach our large room just for me to use while testing.

I see a crate of killer wasps in it. Someone must be able to activate it via switch while Jekyll gets to the booth on top. "Okay Sebastian, this test is extremely different. This is to test your minor and major threat response levels and how well you execute the threats. Okay, release the bees."

Suddenly, I see the crate open and wasps swarm out of the crate. They are flying everywhere while I stand in the middle of the room. I get a sense of danger around me in every direction. I look at one wasp specifically and make a motion of flicking my finger down. The wasp suddenly dies.

Noticing this, I get an overall sense feel of the room and stick my hands out. I clap my hands and all the wasps die. None of them even landed on me, like they were afraid of my presence. I look up to the booth and see Jekyll and the other doctor shocked.

A minute later, after using my ability to move them all back into the crate, Jekyll comes back down. "Sebastian, that was something I never seen before." He sighs and looks at his clipboard. "I don't think we will need to test you for the major threat if you passed this one like that."

"Oh, you will because it's your job." Jekyll's face turns even more shocked as he turns to the side. I look to the direction he is facing and see a man with a suit on. He looks similar to Jekyll, but has a more menacing presence and appearance, long, jet black hair, and crimson red eyes.

_Crinson red eyes...why does that feel and sound so familiar to me?_

Because of that thought, I am kind of nervous to see this person. "D-Dr. Hyde, I didn't expect to see you hear." Jekyll saids, sounding afraid for his life.

"I thought I would see how this experiment is going. After all, I would hate to have a repeat of Project Libitina. It seems your going soft on him, even though we had discussed when it came to this part, we do it my way." Hyde said. His voice is so stern and cold.

"I-Im not going soft. I just didn't have anything that will pose as a major threat to Sebastian." Hyde looks angry now.

"You better soon! Otherwise, you will see ME as a major threat! Are we clear?" He saids. I can sense the fear coming off of Jekyll and pure hatred for anything from Hyde.

"If I may-" I say as I interject. "-I have been rather busy for the past 4 months, doing everything as asked. Missing one thing that can't be helped won't be a bad thing. I can proceed tomorrow."

_Jekyll, let me help you. Don't let him just make you fear him. He may lead a experiment, but he doesn't dictate what you do and don't do._

Hyde averts his gaze and focuses on me. "Are you seriously telling me what you do?" He grabs my shirt and pushes me to a wall. He has such incredible strength. "I lead whether you get thrown off fo the side of the road or not! If it wasn't for us, you would be dead!" He punches me in the face.

* * *

 

I get a vision of a memory that happens within a second, but the memory lasts for several minutes. There is the same boy, but he is at a park, holding a box with a red hair ribbon in it. He is waiting for someone to show up. The only thing that was odd was the fact I can hear and see what they were saying, but only through the boy's eyes.

 "I hope Sayori likes this gift I got her."He thinks to himself. _Who is Sayori?_ He looks off to a girl in the distance and sees she looks happy, yet sad. "Hey Sayori, what's wrong?"

She looks at him quizzically. "There's nothing wrong with me silly. See?" She flashes me a bright smile, but he is not buying it.

"Sayori, you didn't want me to come here if you didn't have anything to tell me. You can fool everyone else, but you can't fool your best friend." I see her starting to tear up a little bit.

"Your right. I do have something to tell you. Please don't think different of me." He nod. "I...I have really bad depression. I had it for a while. I..." She starts to cry. "I can't deal with this anymore. It hurts so much."

He hugs her as she does the same. "Sayori, I'm so sorry. Why haven't you told me?"

She still is crying hard. "I didn't think you would want to deal with me."

"Sayori! I do care about you, no matter what. Dealing with you is not some burden you think it is. It's something that I I wouldn't want to trade in for the world."

She let's go of him, wiping the tears from her face. "That's...really nice to know."

"I did get something for you. I was going to give it to you a while ago, but now it matters that I do." He opens up the box and shows her the red hair ribbon.

"It's so nice Kyle. You really are my friend, Kyle." Sayori said. She takes it and puts it in her hair. She brightens up greatly now. "How do I look?"

He smiles. "Like a bundle of sunshine." He hugs her. "And I'll make sure you stay that way. No matter what it takes, I'll make sure this pain ends for you." She hugs back.

"Thank you Kyle. Thank you so much."

* * *

_Sayori and Kyle! I remember those names, but not much about them. Am I...having a heart attack?!_

I'm gasping for breath. It's hard to breath. Jekyll runs over to me. "Sebastian, are you alright?" He asks urgently. I feel him get pried off and Hyde has me pinned to the wall. His touch gives me a vision, not a memory, but it's from him. This time, I see it like I was there.

There is a little girl sleeping in a bed. Hyde walks in, looking all around the room. I see on the wall is written "Libitina." Hyde walks up to her bed and picks up a tape recorder and hits play.

_Year 2, Day 247_

_I think I am close to death. My dreams and thoughts revolve around it. I miss Emery so much. I'm 6 now, yet I'm still stuck here. Is there even a way to escape? I have tried so many times, yet I almost succeeded once. Opening the door to see a beautiful world filled me with hope and everlasting joy, yet it taken away from me because of Dr. Hyde._

_That man needs to be out of command. He continues to push me and push me. I fear I will soon be dull and I will never be able to recover. Nothing was even wrong with me. I can hear their thoughts and see this world in many ways, yet they got me to believe I had some mental problem._

_For anyone who is next for this project, I will be with you every step of the way. I have tried to resist the Third Eye nowadays, but it's power is too strong and I'm so weak. I know that when I die, who ever has the Third Eye, I will be inside you for as long as you live, because now I am The Third Eye._

Hyde places the tape recorder down. He grabs a pillow and gets on top of Libitina, suffocating her. She doesn't even fight. She just accepts death, wanting to be free from torture. Soon, he lifts up the pillow to see Libitina deas with a smile on her face.

This is the first time I felt any emotion since I got here. I can feel tears falling from my eyes. "What the fuck have you done?!!" Hyde and I look at the entrance to see Jekyll.

"The experiment failed with this one, so I had to do it. We need to find another one." Hyde saids. This fills me with everlasting anger. I can see Jekyll pissed and sad.

"This experiment was doomed to fail be abuse tou kept pushing her. After you killed her best friend Emery, she never was the same. You caused her to be like this."

"Sacrifices must be made if we want to succeed. Do you know how much this experiment costs me?" Hyde asks.

"Not enough to torture a little 4 year old girl. This is over. People will know what happened." As soon as Jekyll saids that, Hyde grabs him by the throat in one hand and raises him up.

"Listen here. This cost me so much money, but we will continue. You use it to help people from near death and I will use it to turn them into weapons with no emotions. Question my power again, you will die like some of your friends. Got it?!",

Jekyll shakes his head furiously. Hyde let's go and starts to walk off. "One thing." Jekyll wheezes out. Hyde turns around. "For the next one, let me have most of the control so we can get what we want. Trust me." Hyde thinks about this for a moment and nods.

* * *

 I'm snapped back into reality, getting choked out by Hyde. Many doctors and guards are there, watching terrified. I make myself heavy so Hyde has to let me down. "You..sick...twisted...fuck!"

I extent my arms forward, making Hyde blown away from me. Without hesitation, I raise my hand up, making his body rise and I make a push motion so he his pushed against the wall. He is groaning form the pain.

"Let me go! I made you!" Hyde screams.  I walk over him and punch him in the face.

"Like you made Libitina? What is that suppose to mean? You are going to kill me like you did her?" Everyone in the room gasps except Jekyll.

"How did-"

"I saw it in a vision while you were choking me. A innocent little girl you tortured and made her life a living hell. You are a self absorbed psychopath!"

"Guards, take them away!" Hyde screams. They don't even move one bit. "Do what Inpaid you to do!" I can feel their emotions of hatred towards him and sympathy for Libitina.

"They won't do anything. We all cared about Libitina like she was our kid. We spent so much time with her even if half of it was for testing, she was a good kid." Jekyll speaks. He has tears rolling down his face. "Then you pushed her and pushed her until she wasn't the same anymore. You are a monster!"

"I do what I had to do if I want to succeed." Hyde saids. He starts to turn into something I am starting to remember. Long black hair, crimson red eyes, black trench coat and top hat, and a overall sense of evil and hatred. He turned into...me?

"Are you guys seeing this or am I imagining he changed into me?" I ask Jekyll. Jekyll's look of terror answers my question. So does everyone's else faces.

"But I actually wanted to do that." Hyde or whatever this thing is, said. "She was weak and fragile, keeping me from being free. So I made another version of me, Dr. Edwars Hyde. Because of her weakness, I had to kill her." He falls to the ground, as if my power doesn't work on him. Everyone of the guards pull out their guns and point them at it. 

"What the fuck  _are_ you?" I ask. He just laughs a distorted, evil laugh.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm the past version of you, but I forgot you lost you memory." He saids. "You can call me The Third Eye." Everyone is at disbelief.

"But how am I able to do the things I'm able to do if what they have me is called the Third Eye?" I ask.

"I don't know myself, but I can assure you, you will never be able to escape this hell that your mind is." He saids.

 _"Are you sure about that Hyde?"_ A little girls voice saids. Me, Jekyll and that thing looks around. Everyone who was around us has ran and hid. I can sense their fear and confusment everywhere. I also sense another person in the room.

All the sudden, we see a little girl appear in the entrance of the room. Jekyll and Hyde looks at her, suprised. I see who it is and feel a sense of vengeance from her: Libitina.

"But...how? Your dead!" Hyde asks. She walks towards us, 10 feet away from us.

 _"Your power and anger kept me around. Knowing your greed, you would tried to do this again. I couldn't let anyone else become victim of your evilness, destroying their minds."_ She said.

 "You are not suppose to be here! You can't be!! I control how this path is shaped for Sebastian!" Hyde asks.

_**Actually, I do. I have been trying to stay out of this because I wanted Sebastian to be able to find his past again, so he can change the way life is for him. Idon't know how you wrote yourself in this story, but I will make sure you don't make it out of this part alive.** _

The three of us look around to see who that was that spoke. "You can't get rid of me!! I have the power of God!!" Hyde saids.

_**Power controls your mindset, making everything clouded for you. Only the power of God is for Him and Him alone. You can only describe it like that because power like that is unheard of. That's why this power should be reserved for people of good nature like Libitina and Sebastian: people who have suffered greatly and never forgot who they were, even if they were tainted by you. I don't know how you were able to get it, but it won't help you now.** _

While they are speaking, I look at the spirit of Libitina and notice she has a familiar red bow on her head. Even though she looks nothing like Sayori, her overall presence is similar to her.

"If you truly believe that, then I will just kill everyone here!!" Hyde screams.

 _"Sebastian, if you want to be able to kill this demon, you have to let me become a part of your life now."_ She saids. I don't need a second thought for that. If she becomes part of me, she will be able to escape the hell that the Third Eye has put her through.

"Then do it." I said. With that, she disappearsand I can suddenly feel a presence of a tortured spirit within me. Looks like she is a part of me now. "Now you." I point at Hyde. "Time to die!!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since Sebastian is in a coma, his past is trying to take control of him while he can't fight. Sebastian is trying to remember his life while discovering this newfound power. Hyde is introduced as a evil asshole who is trying to control how everything is done, like Sebastian's past self tried to do to Kyle in "Happy Thoughts."
> 
> Because Hyde is evil, he attacks anyone who tries to take control his decisions. Because he takes it out on Sebastian, he gets a memory of his early "friends" who suffered greatly. Since he remembers that, he gets a bit of Hyde's past memory of when he took an innocent life because of lack of control over Libitina.
> 
> Sebastian then tried to attack him to make him suffer for his actions, but Hyde is secretly Sebastian's past-self, who happens to be The Third Eye. He would have killed everyone there if Libitina didn't appear to confront her "demon", who is Hyde.
> 
> Since the creator Kyle, me, didn't expect this demon to write itself in my story, I confront it to let it know it has no control or real power in my story, even though it somehow does now. Sebastian noticed that Libitina is similar to Sayori, so he willingly takes her in to stay within him. He doesn't realize that Sayori was his girlfriend yet, so he did this to free her from her hellish torment.
> 
>  
> 
> Again, this is my interpretation of this chapter, so please let me know what you think about it. Next chapter, Sebastian will be free from his coma.


	22. The Coma Part 3: Freedom

Hyde just smiled and laughed when I said that. "If you think you can kill me, you are truly wrong." Without hesitation, he lunged towards me and pinned me against the wall. "You can't possibly believe you can stop me."

"But I do, and I will." I grabbed one of his arms and slung him across the large room. I grabbed one of the metal chairs that were in the room and broke off two of the legs, leaving them with jagged edges.

He got back up and flung the table that was near me right at me with his mind. I dodged it and ran towards him. Jekyll had ran off somewhere, so I know he is safe. I strike at him with one of the legs, making it stick in his back.

He let off a horrible scream, almost inhuman, and hits me with his arm, making me fall far away from him. He lifted me up with one motion from his hand without touching me. "Silly of you to try to use a power like mine to kill me. You can't even remember who you were yet you try to use something like this on me." He said.

With the chair leg still stuck in him, I focus on it and I pull my hand inward, making it go inside him more. He screamed yet again and broke focus on me. I pushed my hands out and made him go to the other side of the room, which causes the leg to go through him completely.

With the other still in my hand, I run up to him and smack him with it multiple times. He then grabs it and sends it into a wall. He rises up and tries to punch me, but I dodge it and grab it. Using more of my strength and power, I launch him into another wall, this time making go through it.

I extend my hands out, making him rise and extend his arms. I make motions that aren't possible for people to have their arms, making one of them break, which causes him to scream more. He looks at me and I suddenly start to feel dizzy. He walks up to me and grabs me by the throat with his unbroken arm and slams me to the ground.

"You stupid fuck. You always knew I was stronger than you. Because you wanted to be nice, you gave up so much so it's impossible to kill me." Hyde saids.

He goes to pick me up again when he suddenly stops. He grabs his head and groans. "Get out of my head Libitina! Get out of my head!!" He screams. He gets on his knees, screaming.

 _"How does it feel to have someone torture you inside your head? Not a lot of fun, isn't it?"_ Libitina saids.

I grab him by the throat and slam him against a wall. I begin to punch him many times, each one with more strength than the last. I stop and look at the bloody mess that represents my past.

 _*spawned knife*_ I create a knife into my hands which the blade is half a foot long. I lift Hyde's head up so he can look at me. "You may have tortured and killed many people and you may have been who I once was, but now your time has come. Just get the fuck out of our lives!"

I plunge the knife into his heart, which makes blood come out of his mouth. I can feel his pulse slowing. He suddenly looks up at me and grabs my head. I'm flooded with memories of my past until he finally dies.

I step back, groaning in pain. I remember all of the things I used to do to Kyle. I was a part of him, friends before but because of his parents leaving, he got depression and it tainted me, so I turned into something completely horrible. I made him suffer for most of his life. The last thing I see is me pushing out of a light in a endless void of darkness.

Jekyll and many others soon come up to me. Jekyll kneels down to me. "Sebastian, you killed Hyde. You actually did it." He said excitedly until he noticed the sadness on my face. "What's wrong?"

"I got most of my memory back up until a point I was pushing out of Kyle's mind, someone I was friends with at once until his depression corrupted me. After that, I can't remember a thing. I just want to remember yet I can't do it."

"Sebastian, stick around here. We will help more now since Hyde is dead and we have no limitation or worries now. After all, what friend would I be if I didn't help you out?" Jekyll said.

I look up suprised. "We're friends?" I ask.

"Of course we are. You helped us more than we could ever imagined. Now it's our turn to help." He replied. A smile comes across my face. "What are we going to do about this though?" He looks all around him.

"I got that." I said. I start to focus on orders I wanted completed.

 _*Hyde's body deleted successfully*_  
_*Main room restored*_  
 _*Walls restored*_

Everyone gasps at amazement as everything I had thought about is completed. "New power I'd discovered just now. Now, about me regaining my memory?"

* * *

_Day 274_

_This past few months have been laborious. The world around me has a completely new feel to it. This power inside me has increased more and more each passing month. I can sense people from anywhere I desire, can tell what they are saying next, make them feel emotions whenever I want and I can through this reality like it's code. I immerse myself into this reality whenever I want to see or do anything I want._

_The reality from which **Kyle** writes this story from is so different than the one I'm in. It's fascinating on how everything is around here. I had also seen what this story is based off of and already taken steps to make sure I don't end up hating what has happened to me._

_This world is as real as Kyle's world is. Just because it's being wrote out doesn't mean that it's any less real. It's just different than the reality I can see through. Jekyll and I have became great buddies and I wouldn't want to trade it for anything else._

_As for my memories, the last part I remember is writing out an encrypted code that the Third Eye was trying to take control of me. This power I have, I refuse to call it the Third Eye now. I don't call it anything but life. This is what I'm left with now and I don't want to trade it in for anything else._

_As for me and Libitina, she has been helping understand this newfound life of mine. She has been somewhat of a guide, but I would consider her a friend of mine now. I let her do things how she wants them done by letting her take control of me. This is very rare however, so I don't complain when she asks if this._

_I don't know how much left of my memory I have left to regain, but I can feel it's almost the end. I worry about what I will do after I'm done here. I guess I can try to find my friends form the club, but will they remember me or hate me for disappearing. I will figure that out when I get there._

I stop the recorder and sit at my desk. Jekyll comes in with a bottle of Fireball whiskey and shot glasses. I chuckle. "I'm trying to regain my memory, not lose it." I say jokingly.

"Well, since we have had so much progress over the past 9 months, I figured we could relax a bit. Besides, you will only lose your memory if you get so drunk." He saids as he pours the whiskey into the glasses.

"You know something, I have never had this type of whiskey." I said.

"Neither have I." Libitina saids. She makes herself appear in a seat beside us.

Something I had figured out about her is she can change her whole appearance if she wanted to. She can also make herself a spiritif she wants to or not. Now, she looks like a average teenage girl with blonde hair, hazel eyes, skinny and tall.

"Libitina, your only 5." Jekyll saids jokingly. Me and Jekyll always joke around with her with what age she was before she passed, but truth is, spirits have no age.

"Are you scared that a 5 year old may outdrink you?" She responds in a joking tone as well. I simply laugh at the thought. I make another shot glass appear for her and he pours it in. We all take our glasses and drink.

"Ahhh. Cinnamon is a lot stronger than I thought." I say, clearing my throat. We all laugh by my sudden expression. We drink for a while before we all head off to bed.

While I'm laying down, Libitina sits up from her bed across me. "Sebastian?" I look over and sit up. "What is going to happen when you regain your memory?"

"I...I don't know. I guess I may try to find my friends that I knew before. Or I may start a new life. I haven't figured it out yet. Why?" I ask.

"Technically, I'm free to leave whenever I want because I'm not controlled by the Third Eye anymore. I'm a person now, just with the ability to not be one. I've been staying here because you and Jekyll are my only best friends. Everyone else is just someone I know."

"Are you upset because I will leave here when I get my memory back?" I ask. I can feel her grow more and more upset. I can also feel fear from her because of her thinking I may forget about her.

"No, I just don't want you to forget about me. We have been best friends since you killed Hyde and freed me, but it has been a long time since I actually have been close to anyone like you." She saids.

"What do you mean by that? There will be plenty of people like me out there." I said. She scoffs and gets up. She ignites her hands with fire.

"There is no one else who can do the things we can. If I was to be with someone else, how would I live normally?" She asks. I get up to try to calm her.

"We will learn. You know I was still in a relationship with Sayori, so possibly she hasn't moved on, even if the year is 2019. She is not the one to move on like that." She puts out her flame, sits down on the bed and puts her hands over her face.

_What am I suppose to do? I just want to make sure she is happy, but I was with Sayori. Then again, what will Sayori ever think if she knew I had this power? Will she still love me to know I am superior to everyone?_

I kneel down beside her and move her hands. "Listen Libitina, you know we are close. With something like this, we will never be apart, but when it comes to relationship, we never have to show them. I won't leave you because I'm with my friends. Hell, you could just join when we find them."

She looks at me with her hazel eyes. "Do you really think so?" She asks.

"I'll go as far as leave them behind if I have too if they won't accept you. I would do that for you because my love for them can't compare to the hell and torment we been through." I replied.

She gets up and hugs me, which I return. "Sebastian, thank you. I'm glad to have called you my friend."

"So have I, Libitina. So have I." We let go and look at each other. I never asked, is Libitina even your real name?"

"That's the name I was given, but I never knew why such a name. If I was to have my own name, it would be Lisa." She said.

"Suits you. Not far from your actual name, so its good." We laid back down. "Goodnight Lisa."

"Goodnight Sebastian." She replies.

* * *

 

_Goodbye Literature Club. Goodbye Sayori. I love you all._

I wake up from my dream. I looks around and wake up Lisa. She looks up confused. "Sebastian, what the hell?"

"It happened. My last memory." She shot up immediately. "Apparently, a bunch of kids tried to attack me, but my past side took them out. I guess I was willing to kill myself but Sayori convinced me otherwise. A kid had a gun and I tackled him off the building. He died, but I don't know about me. I guess I didn't."

After we told Jekyll a few hours ago, he looks at both of us. "That's all of your memory, so now your free to do what you want." We look at each other then back at him.

"Why don't you come with us? After all, it wouldn't be fair that you helped me all this time and you didn't come see my first moment of going outside for the first time in 9 months."

"Your right. Let's go." He gets up and lead me and Lisa to the door. He opens it and there is the bright sunshine. I have tears because I haven't sent he sun in month's. We all walk out for the first time.

* * *

I sit up immediately from my bed. Wait, where am I now? "Oh fuck, your awake!" I look over to see Kyle and Sayori standing by my bedside. The quickly embrace me in a hug.

After a minute, Kyle let's go, but Sayori holds onto me for longer. I hear her sobbing, making me cry as well. Her warmth is something I haven't felt for a long time that I forgot how it was so comforting. She let's me go after several minutes. "Sayori...how long was I out?" I ask.

"2 weeks." She replies.

_2 weeks?! My dream was 9 months. I think I was put in a coma after I faded out. But I'm glad it wasn't longer._

"Thank God. I was so scared. I never thought I was going to wake up. It would have devastated me if I didn't." I was going to speak more, but she put her finger on my lips.

"Shhhh. Your awake now. That's all that matters." She takes her finger away from my lips and kisses me. The taste of her lips is something I have longed for for a long time. I wrap my arms around her and lay down on the bed, bringing her on top of me. She giggles from this.

We continue to kiss while I can tell Kyle is getting disturbed. "Ahem!" He grunts loudly. "You know I'm still in here, right?" Neither of us pay attention to him. "Can't you save that for home?" Sayori perks her head up to his direction. She looks down at me.

"Don't worry. This can wait till home." I tell her.

"Okay. I'll see you when you get home. I love you." She pecks me on the lips before getting up and leaving. Kyle walks out with her. I sit back into the bed and think about what has happened to me.

_I was out for 2 weeks, even though I tried to gain my memory back for 9 months. Does that mean that everything I dreamed about wasn't real?_

The thought about that makes me sad a bit. I made 2 great friends and saved them from hellish torment. Are they even real? Do I even still have that power? My thoughts stop when I hear my front door open. I'm shocked to see who walks through it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am almost done with this story. Even though it is not as popular as my other one's, I am enjoying this series I started. For those who have read this, I'm truly thankful for you guys for reading it. When it came to this series, I put a whole lot of my true feelings in this as well as trying to keep it somewhat related to DDLC.
> 
> I do suffer from depression and in some of these chapters, I tried to make it related to my life through Kyle and Sebastian. Even though I don't have multiple personalities or D.I.D., I always have it hard to control who "I" am to the point I'm not even sure if I am the same anymore.
> 
> This really wasn't ment yo br a pity party, so if it's seen like that, I'm sorry in advance, but I felt like I needed to explain why I started this series and why I only write DDLC fanfiction. I still have to write one for Monika, so that will be the most difficult or it may not, who knows. Thanks again everyone.


	23. Peace With The Literature Club

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long with this chapter. I had the biggest writer's block with this one. Enjoy.

"Lisa? Jekyll? Is that really you?" I ask to the 2 people who I remember. They walk into the room smiling widely. I sit up and smile while tears fall from my face.

"Sebastian, you're alive." Lisa said. I get up and embrace her in a hug. It looks like all that isn't a dream after all.

"So, you were in a coma for 2 weeks actually. Yet you were with us for 9 months. Quite fascinating that that happened." Jekyll said.

"I don't know if I'm able to do anything like before. After all, how are you guys here if you were in a coma dream?" They look at each other for a moment.

"I guess in another reality, that did happen. We were just able to be bring into this reality because of you." Lisa said. "Have you tried?" I shake my head no. "I have faith in you. Try."

I look around for something in the room until I notice Sayori left her bowtie here. I lift my hand up and it levitated, and I bring it towards me. I let it fall into my hand. "Wouldn't want her to forget about that."

"When can you be released?" Lisa asked.

"In another hour or two. I think the club may be planning something for me. Plus, I have to talk to Kyle. He, out of all people needs to know a little bit." I say.

"What will happen if he knows too much?" Jekyll asks.

"I'll make sure to let him know that there is not a lot of things he can't know if his life wants to be the same." I respond. Jekyll and Lisa agree with me and exit the building.

* * *

Me and Kyle are now walking around the park. I think he is probably stalling me for them to set up completely. I still have Sayori's hairbow, so I will give that to her when we get home.

We sit down on a bench and Kyle decides to speak up. "Hey Sebastian, is everything ok? You seem off." He asks. I shoot him a look that he knew  instantly. "Well, I know you woke up from a coma 5 hours ago, but besides that?"

I sigh.  "Something is different about me. I've...changed since 2 weeks ago."

"What do you mean?"

"You know that poem you decoded? The part where I said I would be reborn?" He nods. "Well, now I can do things no one else could do. Watch." I point to a flower in front of us and snap my fingers. As soon as I do, it flower wilts and loses color as it died.

"W-what? What just happened?" He asks.

"I did that. I didn't have to think about it, I just did it. It's The Third Eye. I can do more than that. I can hear what people think and know what they are going to say before they even say it. I can even alter their moods and characteristics."

I can see he is going to say, _C'mon, that's a bit much, don't you think?_ "C'mon, that is-"

"-A bit much, don't you think?" I finish for him. He looks at me stunned.

"Well, how can you change their moods?" I think about him being in a laughing mood, and he starts to laugh. "I feel so giggly. Hahaha. Hahahahahahaha." Then I think about him being pissed off.  "I...I feel so pissed off. Stop please." I stop thinking and he returns to neutral. "Dude, what the hell? That is...scary almost."

 "You don't say Kyle." I say. "It's kinda scary to know that you can alter reality by not putting much effort into it. I would explain, but I can't." Before he can ask, I silence him. "There are things that if  you where to know, it would break your grasp on reality. For now, this stays between us, okay?"

 He nods and we get up to make our way back to Sayori's house. Even though he can't see, I notice him glancing at me occasionally. I know he is confused and worried about me. Can I blame him? No.

I had a huge impact on his life and I know he is still suprised that Monika is with him. He knows that Monika loves him and he is just as equal in that aspect, so he needs to not worry about that. I can only hope that he will be happy for a long time. Hell, hopefully for the rest of his life.

Soon, we reach Sayori's house. I know why we are here, but that doesn't mean that I'm not grateful for them not thinking about me. We enter the hou-

"SUPRISE!!" The girls shout. I act suprised so they don't feel disappointed. I honestly am suprised on how nice it looks around here. Yuri must have led all of this.

"So, how do you like it?" Sayori asks, walking up to me.

"Great, especially with you. But you may need this." I say as I hold out her hairbow. "You left it at the hospital." She smiles, takes it and puts it on.

"Well, its not over it." Monika saids as she pulls out a wine bottle. I raise an eyebrow at her.

"How were you able to get that?" I ask. She smirks.

"Convincing my parents was very easy when it came to having someone waking up from a coma." She answers. Cleaver girl. 

She pops it open and pours it into wine glasses. She hands us all a glass and raises it up. "We're happy to have you here Sebastian. We can't be ever more grateful for what you had done."

"Don't worry, I have someone who may end up joining tomorrow. Don't ask how, just wait till tomorrow." I say. We all drink our glasses. Ha, dinner wine is so sweet. We all drink until we got tired and started to fall asleep.

* * *

 

_If the gun didn't misfire, I wouldn't be here, being happy with people I love._

A thought that someone was thinking woke me up while I was sleeping with Sayori. "I need to get out of here." I hear Kyle say to himself. I can see him leaving the house from the bed I'm in upstairs. I need to know what he is thinking.

_*Sebastian spawned outside.*_

I walk to the point there is a block between us. He I'd going to the beach. I know how much he loves it there. It feels so peaceful here with the orange glow of the sunset. He notices no one is here at the time.

I stand to where he can't see me but I can still see him. I see tears fall down from his face. I can feel how much pressure he has built up. He is thinking about how he never expected to get this far, how he thought his depression would have got to him and he would have got hospitalized or killed himself.

That last part stings my heart. I never wanted him to do that, yet he almost did. I will forever hold that burden that I almost caused someone good hearted to kill themselves, even if it wasn't me. I can hear the thoughts he is thinking.

_God, thank you for giving me the chance to live. I can't believe that my life has went in the direction it has in previous months, but I still am pleased with it every single day. For that, I thank you._

"You almost caused him to kill himself?" I turn around to see that Lisa and Jekyll are behind me. Lisa looks confused. "How were you able to almost cause that?"

"It's in the past. My past self wanted to get out of the hellish torment we were in, so he suggested he kill himself, but the gun misfired." I replied.

"Well, while you were hanging around your friends, I found myself a place to live for the time being. I also found something else." Jekyll said. Me and Lisa turned around to face him.

"What did you find?" I ask. He sighs and looks down.

"It seems like your conscience was in our reality when you drug us out of when you awoken from your coma. I did some searching around on the internet and...found something that you may want to look at right now."

He pulls up on his phone a website of the past year of deceased people. What I see is horrifying. The Literature Club members are dead. It states the cause is unknown and almost supernatural. Suspect is...me?

"They're not dead though. They're alive here!" I say.

"This isn't from your reality; it's from ours. I don't know how, but apparently, they died from something that can't be explained. Because you were the closest to them, it would be natural to suspect you. I know who it was and they're dead now: it was Hyde. I only know that because he was another version of you but truly evil. Don't let yourself down; you avenged them, so be happy." He said.

I nod and watch him leave to home. Lisa starts to turn away when I grab her wrist. She turns back shocked, so I release it. "Sorry. I was just wanting to ask if you were still coming to the club." She nods. "You know we have uniforms, right?"

"Don't worry, I got it handled. It will be fine. I'll see you tomorrow." She saids. Before she takes off, she kisses me on the cheek and runs off. I'm left there stunned.

_Wow, looks like you have the possibility of 2 girlfriends at the same time._

"Shut the hell up _Kyle._ I only love Sayori."

_I know, I know, but you also know she is crushing on you?_

"W-what?!"

_You can do everything else, but you can't tell when a girl likes you? Just how dull are guys in anything related to anime? 'Sighs.' Okay, let me break it down. She likes you because your the only guy that has been nice to her, you have a whole lot in common, and you freed her from a fate worst than hell._

"But I love Sayori. What am I suppose to do?"

_Be honest with yourself: when you were stuck in that reality in your coma, did you ever start to fall for her?_

"A-a little, but I always kept onto the fact that Sayori wouldn't have moved on."

_She wouldn't, but you didn't know for sure. Face it, you kind of like Lisa. Even if you still love Sayori, you have a thing for her. It's not bad, I would assume that you would have eventually. Who knows, maybe tomorrow she'll find some other guy to like, so don't sweat it._

"Okay, if you say so." I look at my phone to see that half an hour as went by. Kyle may be almost home!

_*spawned in Sayori's bed unnoticed*_

 I hear the door open and close. At least he is home safe. Looks like Sayori didn't notice me gone. Good, I don't want to worry her.

* * *

 I feel a weird sensation. Almost like I was being shaked. "Sebastian, wake up." I hear Sayori say as I sleep. I don't budge. Suddenly, I feel a huge weight land on top of me. As soon as I turn to say something, I'm greeted by a kiss from Sayori. After a few seconds, she backs up.

I just look up to see her beautiful face. I chuckle. "Sayori, do you ever stop acting cute?" She giggles as a response. I wrap my arms around her and pull her back down for a longer, passionate kiss. This lasts for several moments until we break apart for a breath.

"Sebastian, as much as I want to keep doing this, we have to go to school." Sayori said. She gets up and goes downstairs in her uniform. I smile as I can tell that my life will be fine in the future.

After 10 minutes, everyone leaves to go to school. We are chatting and having a good time in general. I suddenly hear a familiar voice behind me. "Hey Sebastian!" We all turn around and see the one thing I wasn't expecting: Randy.

"Looks like you are awake! How about I reverse that?" He pulls out a gun towards me. Before I have a chance to react, Lisa pushed through all of us and looks at him. He doesn't fire as he starts to shake. "W-what is this? W-what are you?" He saids stammering.

"Run and don't look back." Lisa saids. As soon as she saids that, he runs away, dropping the gun. She chuckles and turns to us. "Now we're even Sebastian." I chuckle as well as I know what she means.

"Sebastian, you know this girl?" Yuri asks.

"I known her for a while now. This is Lisa, the person I was going to introduce you guys to. She was wanting to join the Literature Club." I respond.

"Really? That's interesting." Natsuki saids. Lisa looks down on her phone.

"If we don't hurry, we'll be late." She saids. Every one of us hurry to school. After we get there, we split up.

* * *

"Something about how all of this is turning out is...of to me."

_Why do you say that Sebastian? She's in the Literature Club, so everything should be fine. And you made it to the weekend._

"Lisa doesn't seem fine to me. She made someone run off with fear. I know she has what I do, but I would have killed him."

_Old habits die hard. Your past self still has a tendency to cause pain to people who get in your way. Lisa just has a sense to take things more peaceful._

"What does that say about me? Does that mean that I will bring pain to the club?"

_No. You, out of all people, can't do that to the club. You care too much about them, so how would you be able to cause them pain?_

"My life has always been about causing pain. Now, with this power, I can do as I desire. Now, I know what I can do to make sure that the rest of the life doesn't end up being pain."

_I know and that is what I hate about this. Technically, I extended the story to another day: this day. This story is over now. Your life will continue on without being wrote out, but it will continue. With most of my stories, I always end with a happy ending, but it's different this time because your self aware._

"So...what wil happen? What are you going to do?"

_Simple: I finish where I desire and I leave it as that. Life continues on as it should. Honestly, I always wonder how everyone in the stories I write live life after I'm done. Maybe one day I'll figure out. I will say, out of all the stories I wrote, this one I'm most passionate about. I am happy to have wrote this._

"Thanks Kyle. I'm happy to have been a part of it. I guess this is where we part ways."

_Yes it is Sebastian. Goodbye Sebastian. May you have a life filled with fulfilling dreams._

"You too  _Kyle._ I hope life goes well for now on. Goodbye."

_Goodbye._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the ending. In a way, there is a reason why I wrote it as I did. After this series, I don't know what I will be able to do with DDLC. As much as the game opens up many things to make out of a fanfic, most of them has been done and more viewed.
> 
> Out of the other 3 stories I worte at this time, this one I felt most connected with. There is so much I have to say about my way of writing these stories, I will need to write it as a separate thing and not as "notes." Thank you for seeing this. By the time you read this, I will have worte the 3rd and last installment of the "Happy Thoughts" series. There will be a 4th, but it's more explaining about "me." It is something you don't have to check out or read, but I will write it, regardless of how dark and depressing it will be.


End file.
